Vampire Diaries
Ordinary People

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | 1 USERS: B+

Ponder they now, over cave scrawl,
Writ in Runic, you will find!
Ric is suddenly an expert,
Writers hope that we won't mind.

Sorry. I'll try to stop that. Anyhow, Damon is still magically prohibited from entering the main chamber of the cave. Has anyone even tried to invite him in, yet? I like to think they've purposefully neglected to try it -- like an ultimate game of Keep-away. Seriously, this place could serve as a safe house from any of our fangy friends, if need be. There are two types of etchings on the cave walls. Some are written in Viking script, i.e. Runic. Others are akin to Native American cave art, for which I give (some of) you, your word of the day: petroglyph.

Alaric shows Elena petroglyphs depicting the phases of the moon, and man and a wolf -- i.e. ancient werewolf documentation. Damon: "Yeah, it's The Lockwood Diaries, Pictionary-style." I would have headlined this weecap, "The Lockwood Diaries" if Mason any Lockwoods actually appeared in it, but alas, they do not (neither do Caroline, Matt or the Germ). This Lockwood lack makes me doubly sad, because Editor-In-Chief, Angel Cohn, alerted me to this delightful bit of celebrity gossip, this week: Uncle Mason "Brick House" Lockwood is stepping out with Lady Gaga. I had been planning to work that in this weecap, somehow. Oh, look there. I just did. Ta-da!

Elena's understanding is that the Lockwoods arrived in Mystic Falls with the rest of the fraudulent "Founders" in the 1860s. This cave art predates that. Alaric says it is ancient. He then shows points out Runic words carved in stone. Translated they are Niklaus, Elijah, and Rebekah. We flashback to...

Ye Olde Ancient Times: A fey, British-Film-Jesus from the 1970s, pesters Rebekah about carving her name in the cave wall. Oh wait. That's not a fey, British-Film-Jesus. It's Klaus, who says Father would be displeased to learn his penis-lacking progeny is wielding a blade. The Beckster will wield a blade whenever she pleases, thank you very much. She tells Klaus he's a chicken when it comes to their father, and always ends up tattling on them. Klaus says Father frightens him.

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Vampire Diaries




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