Outside: A Hybrid exits the house and runs right into Stefan. The Hybrid breaks into game face. Stefan is so badass these days, he doesn't need to do the same. The Hybrid's head reels backward. His game face fades. He falls to the ground to reveal Damon, holding the Hybrid's heart. No fuss. Some muss. Damon cringes. "These hybrids. Really bringing the neighborhood down." He throws the heart to the ground and Title Card. Wait. What? We're only five minutes in, and I've spewed about 2,000 words. Oh y'all, I have got to stop trying to do a recap for weecap money on a weecap deadline.
MFHS: Elena is decorating Caroline's locker for her birthday, when Bonnie shows up to help. She doesn't let Elena know she was late because she's part of Club Coffin Contrivance. Elena confesses to Bonnie that she had Damon to compel Jeremy to leave town. Bonnie, who has no trouble hiding Club Coffin Contrivance from Elena, and had no problem using some pretty dark mojo to bring Jeremy back from the dead, is appalled that Elena would have a vampire compel her little brother to have a better (and hopefully safer) life, but she seems to understand -- at least until she spots Jeremy in the hallway. Her expression hardens.
Which House-Witch House: Damon is beating the hell out of the fourth coffin with a shovel, but not one of those flimsy aluminum jobs you use for snow. This is an old time, spade-style shovel, and yet, it does nothing to the coffin. Stefan tells him he's wasting his time, and confirms he buried the hybrid. Then Damon does some expository Originals math, so we don't have to. "All right, Klaus has six siblings. Rebekah is now with Klaus. There was one dead kid in the old world, one dead kid in the New World, which leaves Elijah and two others. Three Sleeping Originals. Four coffins. So...who is in the lockbox?" Stefan doesn't know but reminds us that Bonnie thinks the secret to killing Klaus is inside it. Damon gets all passive-aggressive with the dead witches, not that I blame him. "You'd think the spirits of a bunch of dead witches that can make a coffin invisible..." He raises his voice. "...that they'd figure out HOW TO OPEN ONE!" My word, it's like he's channeling my mumble mumble mythology grumble now. I could kiss him. (Yeah, hardly a sacrifice, I know.) He throws out his arms in frustration. (Sometimes, I feel badly for readers who might be new students of the English language, because I can only imagine what they're picturing when I use an expression like that. I am sorry. I guess I should have said, "He thrusts out his arms..." Is that better?) When nothing happens, Damon says, "Fine. Don't help."