Vampire Diaries
Smells Like Teen Spirit

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Come On, Buffy

MtVVS's Crypt: Kiki dangles a bleeding human over MtVVS's face until some of the blood gets in his mouth. The color comes back to MtVVS's face and his eyes pop open. He yells at Katherine to, "Get it away." She finally tosses off the corpse and tells MtVVS she remembers him from Chicago in the 1920s -- when he was looking for Klaus. MtVVS closes his eyes. Katherine says, "You're not so scary for a badass vampire vampire hunter.

Gilbert Gables: Elena is lying on the bench lifting free weights when Damon finds her. "What -- are you going to bench press a vampire?" Elena: "Do you understand what's happening right now? Stefan called me a human blood bag. He's a completely different person." As she struggles to complete a rep, Damon pushes down on the dumbbell. When she asks what he's doing, he says he's helping her out. "Come on, Buffy!" Thank you, Evil Pixie Monster. When she gives up, he places the weight back on the stand. Elena: "Like one obnoxious Salvatore isn't enough." I know, right? Damon says, "You called. I'm here. What's your plan, oh warrior princess?" Elena wants to lock up Stefan until MtVVS can kill Klaus and the compulsion breaks. Damon says even once the compulsion is gone, they're going to have to deal with a Stefan who has been high on a lot of human blood. "It's not a stint in rehab, Elena. His humanity is gone. Lights out. No one's home." Elena grits her teeth. "Then do it for me, Damon. Every single time I look at him, I feel like I'm going to break, and I'm not going to give him that satisfaction." As you well know, "Do it for me, Damon," are Elena's magic words. I've seen people mad at her for this, but I think Stefan frigging out to be locked up and can't believe Damon didn't make that his job one. I mean, now with Rebekah in town and staying in Mossy Manse, he probably wouldn't be locked up for long, but I can't figure out why Damon didn't vervain Stefan and stick him in the dungeon as soon as he strolled back into Mossy Manse -- especially since he strolled back into Mossy Manse on the very night he killed Chad and Dana, and then fed off Elena.

When Damon doesn't respond, Elena starts to turn away from him. He grabs her hand and places it on his chest, rubs it around, raises my temperature, and explains that the sternum is a solid plate of bone. He swings her around so her back is pressed up against him, and moves his left hand to the left side of her (exposed) waist. "And right here, just below the ribcage, next to the spine -- that's your way to a vampire's heart." Oh Damon, Elena knows the way to a vampire's heart. Oh. You meant actual blood pumping organ. Excuse my confusion, but surely you understand it, what with all the whispering in her hair and heavy breathing (is that me -- well yeah, but it's Elena, too). He takes his hand off her waist, but keeps his cheek pressed up against her ear. "I'll do whatever it is you need me to do, Elena." When he pulls back, he lets his face skim the back of her hair. Once he's facing her, he says, "No one's going to hurt you -- especially not my brother." Oh for heaven's sake, just kiss her already. Commercial. Wait. Yeah, I know it's dirty bad wrong. That's what I'm looking for!

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Vampire Diaries

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