Welcome back, readers, and welcome back show! It was a long, hot summer, and while fall is in the air here at TWoP's Boston satellite, The Vampire Diaries isn't ready to let things cool down yet. It's Elena's birthday, but she's hardly in the mood for a celebration, since she hasn't heard from Stefan since Satan Klaus brought out his inner ripper. Elena's been trying to track him all summer, but every time she brings a lead to Damon, he tries to make her think her cause is hopeless. That's because Damon is also tracking Stefan, and what he has found is disturbing. From the trail of bodies up and down the Eastern Seaboard, it seems Stefan is so deep in ripper mode he may never break free of either Klaus, or his own demons.
Now that Klaus is a true hybrid, he's man with a mission. He and Stefan hunt down and torture a werewolf and get information on his pack, who they plan to use to build Klaus his own little army of hybrids. Klaus knows Stefan still retains some humanity though, and that it's all wrapped up in his love for Damon and Elena, so, as a test of loyalty, Klaus makes Stefan send them a message. And Stefan does just that. He returns to Mystic Falls, and compels Damon's girlfriend/chew-toy, Andie to leap to her death at the news station, right before Damon's pretty, pretty eyes. The message is clear: back off, brother, I'm not coming back.
At the big, unwanted birthday bash that Caroline's throwing for Elena at Mossy Manse, Matt is cold to Caroline and Tyler's getting hot with another girl, so Caroline retreats to Damon's room for a bag o' blood. Elena needs a breather too, and finds Caroline there. It's not long before the girls stumble upon Damon's map and stash of articles about "animal attacks" that prove Damon has been tracking Stefan all along. When Damon returns from watching poor Andie die, Elena confronts him about his secret search and demands to know why he didn't let her in on it. The reason is simple, that long trail of victim's aren't Klaus's kills. They're Stefan's. Damon tells her that the Stefan she knows and loves is gone, and will not be back -- at least not in her lifetime.
In other news, Jeremy is still being haunted by Vicki and Anna, so he starts smoking pot again. He shares a joint with Matt at the party, and later they satisfy their munchies with ice cream at Gilbert Gables. Eventually, Jeremy confides in Matt that he's been seeing visions of Vicki ever since he died and Bonnie brought him back to life, but Matt doesn't get it, and really doesn't want to. He's trying so hard to draw a line between his life and the supernatural world.
Meanwhile, Tyler and Caroline argue about his attempts to hook up with a girl at the party. Tyler makes it clear to Caroline that since she refused him in the past, if she wants him, she has to make the first move. She kisses his face off, which is a pretty good first move. They rush from Mossy Manse to the Lockwood Mansion where they make all the other moves. Once their supernatural sex drives are sated, Tyler falls asleep, because he's still a guy. Caroline throws her clothes back on and tries to sneak out, but is confronted by Carol Lockwood. Caroline thinks this is just an embarrassing, awkward moment, but oh, no! It's so much more. Carol has doused Caroline's purse with vervain, so when Caroline picks it up on her way out, her hand starts to smoke. This is all the proof Carol needs. She shoots Caroline in the back with several vervain darts and our Vampire Barbie is down for the count.
There's more, so much more, so I'll be back with the full weecap ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where the only chaperone is Alaric, so bottoms up!
Get the scoop (with spoilers!) about what will happen on your favorite CW shows this fall.
We're back! Did you know hiatus is from the Latin for yawn? Doesn't that explain so much? Ugh. Why can't all the shows I like give me new episodes whenever I want to watch them. That's how it will work, when I take over the world (also there will be mandatory snacks and naps), but for now, we just have to put up with the status quo (which is Latin for... status quo). Let's get right to it. You ready? Okay.
Night, Tennessee. A young blonde woman walks out onto the porch of a white house, and whistles for her dog named Rudy. Satan Klaus startles her and then startles me by talking with an American accent. He tells her his car ran out of gas and his cell phone battery died. Clearly, he wants an invitation, but the woman tells him she'll get the phone and bring it out to him. Klaus drops the accent and growls that he thought country folk were supposed to be trusting. Blondie purses her lips and bobs her head. "I'm from Florida." Her 'tude doesn't impress Klaus. He throttles her, because it's not an official episode of The Vampire Diaries until at least one person has been throttled, and compels her to show him a little Southern Hospitality. Inside, a young African American woman is cooking. I hope for her sake that the show is still in love with only casting African Americans in roles that involve witchcraft, because maybe then she'll be able to save herself and her friend, but no dice. Klaus is looking for a guy named Ray Sutton. Ms. Sadly-not-a-witch makes a run for it, but when she gets to the door, she opens it only to find Stefan standing there. Sadly-not-a-witch admits that Ray is in the border town of Tulley. "At a bar named Southern Comfort. It's off highway 41. Thanks for the earworm, writers. Klaus compels blondie to invite Stefan in and then hands her over to him. "Kill this one quickly." He turns his gaze to Sadly-not-a-witch and adds, "Make that one suffer." As Klaus the louse leaves the house, Blondie begs for her life, but Stefan dons his game face and sinks his fangs into her neck. Outside, Klaus smiles as he hears the women screaming. It amuses me that Klaus so enjoys corrupting Stefan, that he doesn't stay and take part in the fun. Title card.
Elena wakes, opens the curtains and then goes into Jeremy's room to do the same, but the camera work and editing at first make it look like she was sharing a room (bed) with Germ. I'd appreciate the artistry, were the characters not siblings, but instead, it made me worry that I was going to learn something I'd never want to know about these two. Hey, don't blame me! Both Nina and Steven have great chemistry with everyone, especially each other. I stuck up for them when he rested his head on her lap last year, but don't tease this angle too much, Show. We know you're not going there, and it's squicky enough to take me out of the moment, as this digression surely demonstrates.