Vampire Diaries
The Birthday

Episode Report Card
admin: A | 2 USERS: A
Just Because I Tell You Things Doesn't Mean You're Allowed To Know Them
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We're back! Did you know hiatus is from the Latin for yawn? Doesn't that explain so much? Ugh. Why can't all the shows I like give me new episodes whenever I want to watch them. That's how it will work, when I take over the world (also there will be mandatory snacks and naps), but for now, we just have to put up with the status quo (which is Latin for... status quo). Let's get right to it. You ready? Okay.

Night, Tennessee. A young blonde woman walks out onto the porch of a white house, and whistles for her dog named Rudy. Satan Klaus startles her and then startles me by talking with an American accent. He tells her his car ran out of gas and his cell phone battery died. Clearly, he wants an invitation, but the woman tells him she'll get the phone and bring it out to him. Klaus drops the accent and growls that he thought country folk were supposed to be trusting. Blondie purses her lips and bobs her head. "I'm from Florida." Her 'tude doesn't impress Klaus. He throttles her, because it's not an official episode of The Vampire Diaries until at least one person has been throttled, and compels her to show him a little Southern Hospitality. Inside, a young African American woman is cooking. I hope for her sake that the show is still in love with only casting African Americans in roles that involve witchcraft, because maybe then she'll be able to save herself and her friend, but no dice. Klaus is looking for a guy named Ray Sutton. Ms. Sadly-not-a-witch makes a run for it, but when she gets to the door, she opens it only to find Stefan standing there. Sadly-not-a-witch admits that Ray is in the border town of Tulley. "At a bar named Southern Comfort. It's off highway 41. Thanks for the earworm, writers. Klaus compels blondie to invite Stefan in and then hands her over to him. "Kill this one quickly." He turns his gaze to Sadly-not-a-witch and adds, "Make that one suffer." As Klaus the louse leaves the house, Blondie begs for her life, but Stefan dons his game face and sinks his fangs into her neck. Outside, Klaus smiles as he hears the women screaming. It amuses me that Klaus so enjoys corrupting Stefan, that he doesn't stay and take part in the fun. Title card.

Elena wakes, opens the curtains and then goes into Jeremy's room to do the same, but the camera work and editing at first make it look like she was sharing a room (bed) with Germ. I'd appreciate the artistry, were the characters not siblings, but instead, it made me worry that I was going to learn something I'd never want to know about these two. Hey, don't blame me! Both Nina and Steven have great chemistry with everyone, especially each other. I stuck up for them when he rested his head on her lap last year, but don't tease this angle too much, Show. We know you're not going there, and it's squicky enough to take me out of the moment, as this digression surely demonstrates.

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Vampire Diaries




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