Vampire Diaries
The Departed

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 5 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
A Proverbial Coin Toss

Caveat lector: EW.com published an interview with show-runner Julie Plec. I'm not going to pretend I haven't read it, because it answers a few questions I had. I discuss those answers in the pages ahead, because I don't think of them as spoilers. If you're one of those fans who goes into anaphylactic shock when you're exposed to any information that goes beyond, "The show returns in the fall," then you should not read this weecap. This is your only warning. All right, let's get to The Vampire Diaries Season 3 finale, "The Departed."

Previously, on The Vampire Diaries, Stefan loves Elena, but knows she has feelings for Damon. Elena makes out with Damon. Esther lets loose her inner Eloise Hawking, and turns beloved history teacher/guardian/souse Alaric into hateful temporary Original vampire-vampire slayer, Vamparic. Once Elena dies, Vamparic will die. Klaus turned Tyler and he also claims to be the originator of the Salvatore vampire bloodline, which includes Caroline, as well as Bonnie's useless mother -- Abby Abandoner. Bonnie wants to desiccate Vamparic, but ends up desiccating Klaus, which gives us Desikklaus, but before Klaus is desiccated, he drains Elena of nearly all her blood. When the Salvatores ride to the rescue, Elena gets caught in their Klaus kerfuffle. She hits her head and is knocked out. Stefan and Damon set out on a road trip to dump Desikklaus in the Atlantic. At home, late at night, Elena passes out and is bleeding from the nose, which seldom ends well.

Gilbert Gables: Elena's alarm goes off at 6:45 AM. The clock is sitting atop a book. One reader thought the title reads Our Love Will Live Forever. I can't tell what the title is, because the stupid CW has an even stupider "Game On! CWINGO" graphic over the second half. The words I can see read: Our Love Is..., so gentle reader, you're close enough. It's certainly something schlocky, and likely telegraphs Elena's choice.

Elena springs out of bed, cranks up the radio, and bops to P!nk's "So What." That's right, girl. You are a rock star. Smiling at her pretty self in the mirror, she gathers her hair into a ponytail. She picks up her pompoms (not a euphemism) and tosses them across the room. They land on the window seat, where waits not her oh so emo diary, but rather, her cheering uniform. Clearly, this is a flashback, so please give us some Aunt Jenna. Please. Please. Please!

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Vampire Diaries

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