Vampire Diaries
The Departed

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 5 USERS: A-
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A Proverbial Coin Toss

Stefan and Damon are still en route to dumping Desikklaus, when Jeremy calls them. They berate him for taking Elena to the hospital where she'll be a sitting duck. They say he should have called on the "parade" of vampires at his disposal. Of course, there really isn't a parade of vampires at Jeremy's disposal, because you two jackholes are on the road, and as you mentioned every remaining Original wants Elena dead. There's Tyler and there's Caroline. Yes, Jeremy should have called Caroline, because she makes everything better, always, but I bet her phone is off, now that Tyler is no longer sire-bound. Just sayin'... They give Jeremy his marching orders: "Get Elena home." They're on their way.

When they end the call, Damon asks Stefan, "Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you not being the dumbest brother on earth?" Um, you boys know I love you, right? Good, because right now, I hate your blood-sucking guts. Firstly, most of the fallout you've dealt with this season is because Stefan chose to become Klaus's Ripper-bitch, to save Damon's already overly long life, and then once he was free of the Klaus thrall, he decided to torment the psychopath. Secondly, you two knew Elena suffered severe blood loss. You saw her hit her head and get knocked out. You then left her on her porch and went on your stupid road trip, instead of grabbing Matt and Jeremy and asking them to help you store Desikklaus in the No Vampires Allowed Cave. You are not nearly the strategists you think you are.

Stefan says one of them has to keep moving and hide Desikklaus from Vamparic, just in case Klaus sired their bloodline. I must have woken up all Xander-y today because right now I just want to take a stand and say vampires are bad, even these pretty ones. Our little human girl, Elena, is willing to die for her friends, but when she's arguably most vulnerable, they're more worried about protecting their bloodline than they are about this injured girl they profess to love -- one who is, by their own admission, target numero uno to the most powerful vampire clan known to this sorry old world. [Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. --Jesus] I am standing firmly with Team Human, this week. If you don't like it, bite me. Anyhow, Damon tells Stefan, "Our life is one big proverbial coin toss." Well, if a coin toss was good enough for Abby Abandoner, then it's more than good enough for you two. That's how mad I am at you boys. That's exactly how mad I am.

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Vampire Diaries

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