Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A+
I Am Not Your Woobie; I'm Your Hamlet!

Mossy Manse: When Damon arrives home, Elena tries to get Damon to talk about his feelings. At first he resists, but then he admits he feels and it sucks. Specifically, he feels guilty that Wolfy THS gave Rose the bite meant for him. He tells Elena to leave, but you know our girl. She doesn't give up (except when her own life is on the line), so she stops, grabs Damon, and hugs him. He doesn't hug her back. He just stands there feeling feeling feeling and it's clear from his face that his feelings are too much for him to handle. Whoa whoa whoa feelings.

Gilbert Gables: When Elena arrives home, Stefan is waiting for her. He asks after Rose, and Elena delivers the sad news. When she asks if he found Isobel, Uncle Snark Daddy John (sic! sic! sic!), comes out of lurk and says, "Not exactly." YAY! More trouble's a-brewing. How I love this show.

Dark Road: Once he's alone, Damon gets good and drunk and then goes out and plays the old Lie-In-The-Road trick. A young woman stops to help him. He compels her not to move and then Hamlets all over her about his existential crisis and how he needs help and doesn't want any trouble, and yet that's all he has. It goes like this...

Damon: I have a secret. It's a big one! And I've never said it out loud. I mean what's the point? It's not going to change anything. It's not going to make me good, or make me adopt a puppy. I can't be what other people want me to be, what she wants me to be. This is who I am, Jessica.

Jessica: Are you going to hurt me?

Damon: I'm not sure. Because you are my existential crisis. Do I kill you? Or do I not kill you?

Jessica: Please don't...

Damon: But I have to, Jessica. Because I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world! That is my secret, but there is so much hurt a man can take.

When Jessica again begs him not to kill her, Damon de-thralls her. So she runs to her car. Damon turns to watch her go, and then Stealth-Salvatores up behind her and sinks his fangs into her throat. NOOOoooooooooooo. Okay, actually? YES! I love a good redemption story, but a good one isn't a smooth one. I don't want Damon to be a woobie. If he's going to end up a real boy, I want him to get there the hard way. As Jessica's body slumps to the ground, we get a shot of Damon's vamped-out face. Blood drips from his lips. The whites of his beautiful blue eyes are completely red. And bang. Title Card!

I'll be back Friday with this week's recaplet. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us on the boards, where it actually is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, lest TWoP Barnes takes arms against a sea of troubles.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next

Vampire Diaries




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP