Vampire Diaries
The End of The Affair

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now!
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You May Be Invincible But That Doesn't Make You Funny

When Stefan goes to grab a glass of champagne off a waiter's tray, he's beaten to the punch by another blonde woman (Australian, Claire Holt). This one is Caucasian, English-sounding and a vampire, because when Stefan teases her about helping herself, she moves in on him quick, makes to kiss him, but just softly licks him instead and says, "Careful Mr. Salvatore. You're still wearing your date. She's lovely." Intrigued, Stefan grabs her arm as she starts to walk away, and asks her name, but she just puts her fingers to her lips as if to shush him, and wiggles off.

Chicago, Night, Present: Stefan asks why he is still with Klaus since the hybrids failed. Klaus says they're in town to see his favorite witch. He tells Stefan that if anyone can help with their hybrid problem, it's her.

Gilbert Gables, Morning: Elena rolls over in her sleep and snuggles up to a fully dressed Damon Salvatore, who says, "Rise and shine, sleepyhead." Elena wakes with a start and yells at him, like you do when you wake up to find a guy in your bed who wasn't invited. Do her brother or her history teacher hear her scream? No. They are useless, and not in the episode. It's only 6:00 AM, but Damon is there not just to tease Elena about dreaming of him and drooling in her sleep, he's also there to invite her on a road trip to Chicago, to bring Stefan home. He doesn't tell her Katherine is his informant though, and I'm thinking that's a bad secret to keep. Instead, he says, "It came to me in a dream. I was naked. You would have liked it." Um, Damon? Remember last week when you made Elena admit she was worried about you, because when you drag Stefan back, you want her to remember how she felt when he was gone? She's gonna remember feeling stalked, harassed and teased mercilessly before she's even had a cup of coffee. He tells her to pack, goes through her underwear drawer and holds up a pair of lacy red panties. Elena grabs the underwear from him and glares him out of the room.

Mystic Falls Torture Emporium: Caroline is still secured in the same room, in the same chair where last we saw her. Vervain mist pours in through the vents. Finally her dad comes in and asks her how she walks in the sunlight. Caroline doesn't take too long to answer, and sadly she chooses to tell him the truth. Bill pulls off the ring and tosses it to the floor, as Caroline begs him not to. My daughter and I decide that Bonnie should make all the vampires we like enchanted belly button studs, because the rings are too visible, and too easily removed. Bill ignores his daughter asking him, "What are you doing?" over and over. Instead, he decides to give her a Mystic Falls history lesson, as if the upcoming torture isn't going to be bad enough. "Your ancestors built this place. People figured it was for unruly prisoners in the jailhouse, but they had something else in mind -- vervain in the ventilation system to keep their subject weak, reinforced steel containment chair..." He looks up and adds, "And that." Next he grabs a bag of blood. When Caroline's face vamps out, he says, "Blood controls you, sweetheart, and this is how I'm going to fix it." He pulls a chain that opens the blinds on a window above. The sunlight burns Caroline and she screams in pain. This will happen what seems like 50 more times in the episode. Those Mystic Falls Founders were real charmers, no?

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Vampire Diaries

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