Vampire Diaries
The Killer

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 6 USERS: A
Yeah, I Don't Do Teen Drama

Grill. As Matt sets up the dining room, he leaves a snarly voice message for Jeremy about being late. April wanders in, so Matt tells her they don't open until 11:00 AM. She's just babbling about how she's not stalking Matt at all, at all, at all, and how she's looking for Rebecca. When Matt laughs off April's suggestion that he and Rebecca are an item, she says she's just worried, because Rebecca promised to help her find out about the ranch explosion, but then disappeared. Fun fact. I typed raunch explosion back there. This show has already been so disgusting this season, I shudder to think what that might involve. Anyhow, Connor manhandles Jeremy into the dining room and tells April that's the least of her problems. Being not adorable enough is not one of her problems, I tell you what. I love this kid.

Gilbert Gables. Damon shows up at Elena's bedroom door because he's forward like that. He's looking for Stefan, who isn't answering his phone. Damon asks to use Elena's phone in case Stefan is dodging his calls because of their hot, sweaty dance at the Whitmore frat. That's Damon and Elena's hot sweaty dance. To date, we haven't seen a hot sweaty Stefan/Damon dance. Something has to be left for the fic writers. Anyhow, Damon is amused when he realizes Elena didn't spill her guts about it to Stefan. She denies she's in a shame spiral, but Damon says, "Oh, you so are. Newbie vampire remorse? It's worse than a hangover." When the call goes right to Stefan's voicemail, Damon decides either Stefan is dodging both of them, or something's wrong. Damon's sanguine discussion of newbie remorse makes me wish that his turn to teach Elena how to be a vampire had started out a little more slowly and gone a different way. Sigh.

Grill. Connor orders all the kids to take a seat, then demands Jeremy's cell phone. Jeremy pleads with Connor to let April go, since she has nothing to do with this. Connor says, "She has everything to do with this. Her and her father. Plus, she and I have history." April has no idea what he's talking about, and says she's never seen him before in her life. Connor: "You kids need to get some vervain." He then grabs Jeremy's wrist and adds, "And don't just wear it as a bracelet, where anyone can just take it off. Maybe then you'd remember our conversation at the hybrid's yesterday."

It's Jeremy's turn to be clueless. "Our conversation? Are you saying someone compelled me?" Oh Jeremy, there's no gambling in Casablanca. When April wants to know what the hell everyone's talking about, Connor flat out says vampires. Matt: "If you know so much, then you know our friends are going to come for us." Connor's counting on it. The more who come, the more he gets to kill. Using Jeremy's phone, he sends a group text message to Stefan, Damon and Tyler. "Hunter at Mystic Grill with hostages. They all die at sundown." Connor then lays the phone on the back of a booth and stabs it. What is with all the phone violence on this show? Although given a choice between phone violence, gore, and vomit, I'd choose phone violence (and then gore -- vomit is always a last resort, vomit and of course undefined raunch explosions). Commercial.

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Vampire Diaries




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