Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 2 USERS: A+
Bite Me

Ye Olde Tomb: When Caroline comes to, she realizes she and Tyler and chained up and can't escape. She fills him in on witches and Klaus and how he so shouldn't have come back home.

Back at the Falls, Elena muses that Bonnie will have to make her a daylight ring and cracks that she won't be able to watch Bambi again. What? Um, because she'll get hungry and feel bad that she eats animals? Is that what she means? I'm pretty sure she's not a vegetarian now. My daughter thinks so, but that just seems like a weird association. Color me unimpressed or flummoxed the like. She tries to make more vampire small talk. Stefan talks about the feeling that you can do anything and how everything is more powerful -- more heightened. He says the worse is really the flipside of that. Anger becomes rage. Sadness becomes despair. Grief and loss are crippling. That's why so many vamps turn off their emotions (uh, only kinda, Stef). He's still trying every day to handle it. He pushes her to talk more but she insists on continuing their hike, because there are still 30 minutes left in the episode.

When Klaus returns to Alaric's pad, he finds Katherine making coffee. He senses she is hiding something so he throttles her and compels her to tell him what she's doing. He then orders her to take off her protect-o bracelet and walk over to the window and stand in the sunlight. She has to pretend she's still compelled so she obeys. Satan enjoys watching her burn for a bit. When he gets bored, he releases her and tells her she's got an assignment.

When Damon reaches the tomb, Maddox confronts him. Damon jumps him, but manwitch throws him off. He starts to give Damon a mystical migraine, but before it goes on too long, who should appear but my Pudding Pop, Matt. He shoots Maddox through the chest. Maddox falls to his knees and Damon snaps his neck for good measure. When it's done, he and Matt size each other up and right into commercial.

Matt holds Damon at gunpoint and demands to know where Caroline is. With his hands in the air, Damon assures Matt he's just there to rescue Caroline. Matt is twitchy and not putting down the gun, so Damon whacks him in the head with it. Once Matt is knocked out, Damon unloads the weapon and is all like oh and I need this crap when he realizes the gun was loaded with wooden bullets.

Down in the tomb, Caroline and Ty discuss how they left things with him not really saving her from the Wolfgang, and how hurt she was that he also left town, but that she could never hate him. It's a moment, so of course Evil Pixie Monster interrupts it. Damn it, Damon. Your timing sucks. He tells Caroline her boyfriend is outside with a weapon loaded with wooden bullets so she has some explaining to do. Since Caroline thinks she compelled Matt to forget all about vampires -- at his request, no less -- she is truly confused, but Damon says that's tomorrow's problem. He just needs to get Caroline out of there. Caroline won't leave without Tyler. Damon is ready to cut him some slack, but only if he can get himself locked up before dark. He can and will, and Caroline will help. And I believe that will happen just exactly ZERO amount, especially once Damon looks soulfully at Tyler and says, "Don't make me regret this." He just shouldn't talk, my Evil Pixie Monster. Yikes.

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Vampire Diaries




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