We open on a young couple camping in the thick of the woods, so they can watch a comet. Through the heavy trees. Heavy trees which completely encircle their campsite. Yeah. I guess the trees don't matter though, because their biggest obstruction to viewing is the fact that they're about to become vamp vittles of the week. Elsewhere, Stefan and Elena are having dueling DIARY-Ahhh about how good they feel knowing they're going to see each other again. Later, in history class, their nasty teacher busts them for making googly eyes at each other. Bonnie tells Caroline about her witchy lineage she's learning courtesy of her liquor-loopy Gram, while Caroline is still all dreamy about serving as a pedophile's (Damon; Ian Somerhalder) eye candy in the first episode. Jeremy tries to get the 411 on Vicki from Tyler, but these two would rather fight than talk and almost come to blows. Meanwhile, Matt fills Elena in on Vicki's condition and the fact that his mom is still away in Virginia Beach -- with her boyfriend. Stefan is waiting on a picnic table, some distance away, and tunes in with his super-vamp hearing while Matt tells Elena that Vicki thinks she was attacked by vampires. Matt chalks this up to Vicki being drunk and asks Elena what's up with her and the new guy. When Elena prefaces her answer with: "The last thing I want to do is hurt you..." Matt readily decodes her "It's not you; it's me," super secret double dumpage preamble, and cuts her off by announcing that he's going to the hospital to be there when his sister Vicki wakes up. Once he's gone, Elena turns towards Stefan, but he has vanished.
Meanwhile, Aunt Jenna has a conference with the mean teacher, who tells her Jeremy is doping up to cope with his loss. Mean teacher undermines Jenna's confidence in her ability to care for her niece and nephew. Over at the hospital, Stefan lurks as Matt approaches Vicki's room. Her bed is empty, and she surprises Matt from behind, then freaks out. While Matt runs off to get a nurse, Stefan comes in and enthralls Vicki, so that she'll think an animal attacked her, instead of Damon. When Matt and the nurse return to Vicki's room, Stefan is gone and Vicki is sleeping, but Matt catches sight of Stefan's retreating form. Stefan seeks refuge in a room that turns out to be the blood transfusion clinic. What are the odds? Eyes bloodshot and face all veiny, Stefan disappears and Matt loses his trail. Back at the Gilbert house, Jenna tries to connect with Jeremy by offering him tacos and telling him about her own pothead days, but she might as well have started out talking to the sliding door, because that's the only thing listening by the time she's done. At the hospital, Vicki wakes to find a dozing Matt by her bedside. When she wakes him, Matt asks what attacked her, and like a good little enthrallee, she confirms it was an animal. Then Jeremy shows up to check on her, and while Vicki is nervous that people will know this younger man was her summer boy toy, Jeremy is steadfast.
Meanwhile, Elena approaches Mossy Manse. No one answers the bell and when she knocks, the door flies open, so she enters. She calls out to Stefan, but there's no reply. Suddenly, a crow flies at the door and Damon is right behind Elena. Stefan appears before Damon can tell Elena too many twisted tales about Stefan and his "ex," but Damon has already sown the seeds of doubt. Meanwhile, Stefan acts like he hardly knows Elena is in the room.
The climax comes on the night of the comet. Vicki, released from the hospital, is welcoming of Jeremy and his proffered painkillers and not so into Tyler. But then, while she's in the ladies room at the Mystic Grill, Damon gets her and takes her to a rooftop. Stefan tracks them there, only to watch Damon undo Stefan's thrall (which was weak, because Stefan won't feed on humans). Damon convinces Vicki that Stefan bit her, not him and not an(other) animal. At the last second, Damon re-enthralls Vicki so that she doesn't know the truth or the near truth-y lie.
After Elena gives Aunt Jenna a pep talk about her guardian expertise, she goes off to see Stefan, and takes him outside to watch the comet. Meanwhile, Caroline runs into Damon, again, and Jeremy has to endure the sight of Vicki hooking back up with Tyler. Back at Mossy Manse, Elena and Stefan blah blah to each other about what they would write in their diaries, which amounts to no more than swelling music before they kiss. And kiss. And kiss. We then cut to a shot of Damon working his way up the lovely young body of a nearly unclad Sweet Caroline (hot pink bra is still in place). His eyes go blood shot. His face is traced in veins. Caroline screams and DUN!
I'll catch you on the flipside with the whole, big cheese. Bring your own wine.
Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Resident vampire/diarist Stefan Salvatore leaps out of his century of secrecy and into Teen Town U.S.A. He says he has no choice. "I have to know her." "Her" = Elena, and yeah, I'm thinking he means that in the biblical sense, too. Elena and Stefan finally meet. She tells him about the car accident that took her parents. He tells her he lives with his uncle, and when she asks if he has siblings, he says, "None that I talk to." Cut to a nummy Damon Salvatore: "Hello, brother." Damon calls Stefan out on the fact that Elena looks just like Stefan's long lost love Katherine (circa 1864). Elena and her brother Jeremy walk through the woods and stumble upon Jeremy's crush, Vicki. She's sporting a hella neck wound and is unconscious after a brief moment of screaming. Later, at the hospital, Vicki tells her brother Matt (Elena's long-pining ex) that the something that bit her was a vampire! Meanwhile Damon taunts Stefan about his desire to live at peace with humans, rather than accepting them as the happy-meals-with-legs they so clearly are. They slap and tickle their way into a full-blown fight which climaxes in simultaneous defenestration. When Stefan warns Damon to stay away from Elena, Damon says, "I take that as an invitation," which, when given to a vamp, never ends well.
NOW. Exterior, night: the camera and a heavy ground fog close in on a tent pitched in the thick of the woods. Inside, a young couple kisses until the woman (natch) hears something. Fog doesn't make noise, so she thinks it's thunder. The woman notes that if it rains, they're not going to be able to see the comet. Hate to break it to you sweets, because it appears your breasts are real and I appreciate that in a female TV character, but you're not going to be able to see any comet from inside a tent pitched under all those trees, anyhow. Does no one in uh...the biz go out in the real world and see how things work? It's like those Christmas specials where the family buys the perfect Christmas tree on Christmas Eve and decorates it without any tension; or the characters who don't know the difference between a wake, a funeral, and a memorial service; or between a half-brother and a step-brother. Anyhow, the man has to get something back in the car. Probably not his half-brother, and probably not a Christmas tree, but who knows, since you'd think he would have had the foresight to slide his box of condoms into his sleeping bag or backpack. After he's gone, the woman hears what sounds like rain drops. She can only hear them because she doesn't have to listen to the background music, which is nearly drowning out her voice. She and her I-told-you-so step outside the tent, but Mr. Lover Boy is not in sight and neither is a single drop of water. Still, she hears something and turns to find blood dripping atop their tent. Training her flashlight on the tree above, she sees the mauled body of her lover. She runs screaming to the car, but it's locked. She tries to force it open, but stops dead when she hears the little chirp of the security system. Turning her back to the car, the woman looks towards the woods to figure out who has the keys. A vampire drops down on her and brings her to the ground behind the car. TITLE CARD!