Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C | 3 USERS: A
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The Night Of the First Kiss

Next, we get close-ups of Elena in her bed and Stefan in his. They're both smiling and we're treated to a (sometimes overlapping! Oh, the cheese!) voice-over of their diary entries, even though neither character is currently engaged in writing. They're both all: Things are different now. Changed. I feel alive. Awake. Hopeful. Bah, humbug. All this wondrous optimism is because they know they'll see one another again. Oh, now Elena's in her usual window seat and actually scribbling away in her diary. Are you ready for the profundity? She writes, "I feel good." Sigh.

Aunt Jenna wants to know if she looks adult enough for Jeremy's school conference. With her hair up, Elena tags her look as "Sexy stewardess." With it down -- it's all "Boozy housewife." Hey, first of all she looks like neither, but secondly, and more importantly, on behalf of my people -- er...we wish we looked like that. Maybe more booze is the answer. BRB. Ahhhhh. With Elena's help, Jenna realizes Jeremy didn't go to woodshop early, on account of the fact that there is no woodshop. So where has our pet druggie gone? Aww. He's mooning over his and our favorite crack ho at the hospital. It's before visiting hours though, so the nurse chases him out without giving him any real information about the sleeping Vicki's condition. How can she be so blind to his acute case of adolescent angst?

In history class, the surly teacher busts Elena and Stefan for making eyes at each other while he lectures about the impending comet, which hasn't graced the skies of Mystic Falls in 145 years. I don't even need to do the math to know that means it was last here in 1864 -- the Katherine era. It will be its brightest right after dusk, "During tomorrow's celebration." Well then, why the heck were our Victims-Of-The-Week camping out last night? Too dumb to live -- right? Good, now that we're all agreed, let's continue. After class, Stefan gives Elena a copy of Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights; it's vintage -- bearing her penname, Ellis Bell. He explains er... sexism, you know, but what's more interesting to me here is the question of how much Brontë's Catherine and LJ Smith's Katherine (and/or Elena) have in common. I'll have to put a mental sticky on that and see how and if it is reflected in the season's story. Meanwhile, Bonnie tells Caroline about her witchy lineage that she's learning all about from her liquor-loopy Grams (that's one liquor-loopy grandmother with an endearment ending in s). Caroline listens as well as she can when the subject isn't Caroline. She's still all dreamy about the handsome stranger (Damon) with whom she shared a look at the Mystic Grill the night before. Bonnie is one of those stock (albeit quite beautiful) TV teens who seems to have her head on straight and knows everything about the ways of boys and girls, so of course she's single.

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Vampire Diaries

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