Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Night Of the First Kiss

Outside, Jeremy heads straight to Tyler, who, this week, comes off as more of a jock/prep, and less a greaseless, leatherless greaser. And he now looks like the poor woman's Tyler Christopher (or perhaps that should read "the young woman's Tyler Christopher"). Anyhow, Jeremy makes a beeline for Tyler, who is talking up some girls. Jeremy lays the sarcasm on nice and thick as he goes on about how close Tyler and Vicki are, and so Tyler must have an update on her condition. Tyler tells Jeremy that Vicki is fine, but we can tell he doesn't even know. He sure wants Jeremy to go away, though. It's like he doesn't want to be seen talking to him. The two stop short of getting physical, but Jeremy does tell Tyler that he'd better not hurt Vicki again, or he'll kill him. After Jeremy stomps off, Tyler looks around and adds in a lame voice, "Damn, that was like a death threat." He turns to the girls. "Did you hear that?" Tool.

Across campus, Stefan sits on a picnic table some distance away, but thanks to his vamp powers, he can hear Matt tell Elena that Vicki should be discharged tomorrow. It seems their mom is still away in Virginia Beach -- with her boyfriend. Since this show is set in Virginia, their mom gets a big FAIL from me for not rushing home (but not an EPIC FAIL; I'm saving that for later). Matt then tells Elena that Vicki thinks she was attacked by a vampire. Matt chalks this up to Vicki being drunk and changes the subject. He wants to know what's up between Elena and the new guy. When Elena prefaces her answer with: "The last thing I want to do is hurt you..." Matt readily decodes her "It's not you; it's me," super-secret double-dumpage preamble, and cuts her off by announcing that he's going to the hospital to be there when his sister Vicki wakes up. Once he's gone, Elena turns towards Stefan, but he has vanished. As Elena scans the schoolyard for him, we cut to...

History Classroom: Mr. Tanner is concerned because Jeremy has skipped six of his classes in three days of school. Aunt Jenna, whose dress is cut way too low in the back for a school conference (so, sexy, off-duty stewardess it is) reminds him that Jeremy and Elena's parents recently died. Tanner pays lip service to human emotions, but only so that he can make Jenna feel like an unqualified "kid sister." He also drops the bomb that Jeremy's been doing drugs and strongly implies that an adult relative other than herself should be in charge of the Gilbert children. He reminds her that she is stuck in the impossible role of being guardian to two teens. When Jenna corrects that it's difficult, not "impossible," Tanner's all, Ha, see, that you think it's not impossible shows how impossible it's going to be! If it's not impossible, UR DOIN IT WRONG! Well, I guess he showed her.

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Vampire Diaries

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