Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C | 3 USERS: A
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The Night Of the First Kiss

OH COME ON! You just met. That's not epic. Let Logan Echolls give you the definition of epic: "[...]You know...spanning years and continents. Lives ruined. Bloodshed." I mean, when I typed "Veronica Mars quotes" into Google, it offered me a bunch of suggestions before I even hit the "Google Search" button, and the very first one was "Veronica Mars quotes epic." I'm not saying you and Stefan cannot be epic, Elena. I'm sure your writers are shooting for just that, but they just overshot. "I met a boy and he liked me one day and froze me out the next," isn't epic, it's adolescence. EPIC FAIL! Also, Logan wants you to tell Stefan that when he offered up the word anthropomorphic, he never thought some moody vamp would employ the technique on a comet. Anyhow, Elena says something like, "Then the sun came up and reality set in." They search each others eyes for a moment, then Elena lamely adds, "So..." and walks off.

The Mystic Grill: When Vicki spots Damon, she tells him she knows him. He smirks. "Well, that's unfortunate." She can't recall how, but when she stares at his face, she laughs nervously and takes off for the ladies room. She pops some more pills, leans over the sink to get some water to wash them down with, and when she stands back up, Damon is right behind her, fangs bared, snarling and lunging for her neck. She screams and.... COMMERCIAL!

Still At The Grill: Jeremy asks the gang if they've seen Vicki. Tyler snarks about him being her stalker, so he ought to know. Matt is the only one truly concerned. Elena's too busy paying attention to Tyler calling Jeremy a pill-pusher. When Tyler taunts Jeremy that Vicki will never go for him, Jeremy says, "She already did. Over and over and over again." Oh, high school. Never change. I wait for Matt to react to that, but he doesn't have time before Jeremy reveals that Tyler was forcing himself on Vicki at the party last week. Matt reacts to that, but as the whole gang gets out of hand, he assumes the voice of sanity and tells them all to shut up and help him find his sister. As they set out on the Great Vicki Quest '09 (which I bet happens a lot more frequently than every 145 years), Elena calls Jeremy out on dealing, which he denies. She then tries to talk to him about using and says he can either talk to a therapist, go to rehab, or talk to her. That she thinks talking to her is the most effective option reveals an awful lot about Elena, if you think about it. Go to rehab, kid. Choose rehab.

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Vampire Diaries

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