Vampire Diaries
The Originals

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 12 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Originality Is Nothing But Judicious Imitation
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Housekeeping: a tip of the hat to the kind reader who tweeted me about the unpardonable sin I committed in the recaplet. I typed "Drew" when I meant "Dru," which actually has nothing to do with the episode, except that I made a reference to a scene in Joss Whedon's Angel. I know better, and I'm so sorry. When I'm writing, my brain tends to run ahead and sometimes auto-pilot typing fails. Still. I can't believe I typed "Drew" for "Dru." Grr argh. Let's leave the ugly past behind us, and travel to a brand new, beautiful future where The Vampire Diaries is no longer an overstuffed, yet possibly undercooked turducken. A future where the turkeys have a dedicated plate in Mystic Falls, our Original ducks share a spacious platter in New Orleans, and that rubber chicken of a sire bond is running around with its head cut off, far far from all of us -- maybe on that impossible island off the Nova Scotia coast. Are you ready? Okay.

Previously on The Vampire Diaries, Elena cried. A lot. The Salvatore solution was to shut off her humanity. Then of course, they had to deal with a humanity-free Elena, so they drugged her and locked her up. No wonder she can't choose between these charmers. In other news, Elijah remained ridiculously appealing. Katherine left Klaus a letter warning him that a witch in New Orleans, named Jane-Anne Devereaux, is plotting a move against him.

Currently on The Vampire Diaries we open in the dungeon of Mossy Manse, where Elena is starving. Upstairs in their lavish parlor, her tormentors, oh, wait, I mean would-be suitors, blah a lot of blah ditty doo about how hungry she'll have to be to break and flick her humanity switch in the more desirable direction.

Thank goodness Katherine arrives, and gets the Salvatores off their seemingly endless conversation on how best to control their holy grail... er... girlfriend. They're a bit surprised she's so bold as to appear in Mystic Falls, since Klaus has been trying to kill her for the past several centuries. Katherine is pleased to announce that werewolf Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin) proved the secret getting Klaus out of their lives -- for good.

Sidebar: While I can believe the Salvatores would think Klaus is still dwelling on Katherine, I can't believe Katherine is still worried about it. Dear Future Petrova Doppelgängers: If an Original Hybrid doesn't manage to kill you within the first century after you've pissed him off, (by ensuring you weren't used as some sacrifice in his self-serving ritual) and if that same Original Hybrid (and there's only one, so far as we know) eventually finds another Petrova Doppelgänger, but fails to kill her too, and then discovers he instead needs her to be a wet nurse for his baby hybrids, and if that wet nurse can't even serve as a wet nurse anymore, in part, because the Original Hybrid drained her of her blood, so the local lady doc healed her with vampire blood, and then the Original Hybrid's sister killed the Petrova Doppelgänger, thus ensuring she too would become a vampire, I think it's safe to assume that while the Original Hybrid may still hate you for having gotten one up on him, and probably for being you, your murder probably isn't high up on his to-do list, so chill. And now, without further ado, we travel to...

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Vampire Diaries

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