Vampire Diaries
The Originals

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | 11 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Originality Is Nothing But Judicious Imitation

Cemetery. Night. Jane works her magic. We cut to Haley driving through (in? on? near? by?) the bayou. There are going to be a lot of cuts here. I'm not making a new paragraph for each one. Jane stays in the cemetery and Hayley stays lost. The road or "road" she's on stops at the water's edge. Back at the cemetery Jane is still doing that voodoo she does so well and lights yet another candle. On the bayou, Hayley's map bursts into flames. She throws it out the car window. Jane handles a steaming chalice of nasty. Hayley starts backing up. Jane sets down the chalice. There's some wonky visual effect. Hayley's car gets stuck. She gets out. Jane does some more magic. Out of the car now, Hayley calls for a tow truck. Jane starts humming. There are more wonky visuals. Hayley hears a high pitched tone on her phone, throws it down, and stomps on it. Jane continues plying her dark arts. Hayley is surrounded by people. Jane raises a candle and blows out the flame. Hayley passes out. Sophie catches the poor girl, right before her head hits the ground and looks up at her co-conspirators. Title card.

New Orleans. Day. A tour guide welcomes us to the "dark side of New Orleans." I'm predictable, so I hope he'll mention they have cookies, but instead, he pronounces it a "Supernatural playground, where the living are easily lost, and the dead stick around to play." Well hell, we have that back in little old Mystic Falls. I should note that this is a real, live (or at least undead) New Orleans tour guide named Jonathan Weiss. Get the scoop (and other Originals tidbits) from Erin La Rosa, at Buzzfeed. We see Klaus on a bustling street, before we cut back to...

Mystic Falls. Rebekah asks Elijah what the hell Klaus is doing in the Big Easy. Can I just pause the TiVo and look at him? No. Oh well, you're probably right. His voice is part of his appeal. He uses it to say that Klaus heard there are witches conspiring against him. While Rebekah looks like she just saw a cute kitten, Elijah appears concerned and adds, "So knowing our brother, this is a mission to silence and slaughter." We cut back to New Orleans, where Klaus approaches a fortune teller (Karen Kaia Livers), but then we cut right back to Mystic Falls, where Rebekah is failing to conceal her delight at the prospect that the French Quarter witches may have found a way to take out Klaus. Elijah is the moral, immortal, killing machine, so he tells her that for family's sake she should dial down her glee. Rebekah and I both say, "What family?" She adds that they are, "...three distrustful acquaintances who happen to share a bloodline. I, for one, hope they've found a way to make that traitorous bastard rot." She takes a sip of her drink and we cut back to...

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