We cut to a country road. Stefan and Elena are zipping down it on his motorcycle. Elena tries to get into it. At first she musters up the courage to stand on the back of the speeding bike. Next she does a handstand. It's all very cutesy, but in a sweet way, with genuine smiles. The green screen is annoying. 95 million people write to me, asking why vampires would bother wearing helmets, but my 13-year-old daughter beat them to the punch with that question, because we watched together. My fanwank: they don't want to attract the attention of the cops. Plus, the helmets make it easier to film the stunt doubles. Yes, her hair should be more windblown. Blah blee bloo. Elena's finally having a little fun being a vamp though, so let's give her that and move forward.
Hospital. Jeremy and Connor follow Meredith down the corridor. Her neck is bandaged, so clearly she's in on this setup. When she enters the supply room, Connor tells Jeremy to stay where he is. Inside the supply room, instead of Mere, Connor finds Damon. "Is a hospital really the place for a germaphobe?" Damon: "Did I say 'germaphobe'? Sorry, I meant vampire." As Connor draws his weapon, he's struck by two bomb-triggering arrows. Well I'm sorry, but what the heck am I supposed to call them? Connor's gun falls just out of reach. Or does it. He looks at the trigger wires and decides there's just enough slack to let him reach for the gun, but Klaus appears and kicks it out of reach as he says, "Hello, mate." Commercial.