Vampire Diaries
The Reckoning

Episode Report Card
admin: A- | 1 USERS: A-
Bite Me, Again...
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The Mystic Falls Event O' the Week is Senior Prank Night, in which residents punk their local senior citizens. Wait... that's not right. I think I broke my brain trying to make this an actual Weecap (as opposed to last week's 20 frickin' pager, which is practically a double recap). Hi. My name is Cindy, and I have a lot to say. Let's get right to it, shall we?

Mystic Falls High School, Interior, Night: You know how schools are generally creepy? They're even creepier at night, especially in vampire, werewolf, and now ghost and Original infested towns. The camera man takes us on a silent tour. Well, it's almost silent, except for some clanking. Are Vicki and Anna dragging chains around the hereafter, now? Nope, it's just Matt, who must have broken into the school to work out in the weight room. Um? Look, this is a nit I already picked in the recaplet and may pick in more detail later on, but it's patently stupid that students can wander the high school at night without adult supervision. Anyhow, Matt is sweating like a pig, because the sadistic writers and wardrobe crew have him severely overdressed. He's not just NOT shirtless, he's wearing a hoodie too, which means we can't even see his biceps. I'm tempted to give the episode an F right now, and get on with my weekend -- well, with my kids' weekend. I have precious little life of my own. The only thing I have to say to this weekend goes thusly: the line to kiss me forms to the rear. Okay, I just convinced myself. I'll keep writing.

Anyhow, when Matt pauses during his workout, he hears a bang coming from the hall and goes to investigate, without even wiping the sweat off his face -- sweat that rivals Damon's death sweat from the Season 2 finale. Matty, take off those two shirts -- both of which are extraneous -- and wipe your face. Please? He doesn't listen. Instead he tracks the noise to a dark classroom. Don't go in there! You're going to be attacked -- attacked by a vicious evil. He doesn't listen to me about this any more than he listened to me about his shirt atrocities. He steps in the room. There is a horrible banging and snapping. Is it the horrible banging and snapping of fangs? Matt turns on the light to see what fresh hell he's in, and realizes he has fallen prey to hundreds of vicious, evil, fangy... mousetraps? Caroline yells for me. "OH C'MON?! SERIOUSLY? Do you know how long it took for us to set all this up?" All right, time to pick a nit....

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Vampire Diaries




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