Vampire Diaries

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Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A
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Doppelganger Hijinks Ensue

Welcome back, everyone! There's nothing like a cliffhanger to slow a long, hot, humid summer down to a sweaty crawl, but it's September now, so I'm releasing the edge from my grasp, confident I'm about to dive into something deep, cool and refreshing. I know some of you are new to the show or only caught part of last season, so how about a fairly thorough...

Previously, on The Vampire Diaries: For over a century, noble vampire Stefan Salvatore lived in secret, but now he's taking a flying leap into the sunshine of orphan Elena Gilbert's love. It's complicated, but not in the awkward Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin sexy fun-time way. It's complicated because Stefan's equally fangy brother, Damon, is a beautiful but oh-so-evil Evil Pixie Monster, who indiscriminately wields the power of the Eye Thing, and tends to go for Stefan's kind of girl. Long ago and far away, the dashing Brothers Salvatore were two sides of a love triangle concocted and completed by their eventual siress Katherine Pierce. And? Elena looks just like her. You say that's on account of Nina Dobrev playing both characters, I say it's magic, but let's not quibble. Back in 1864, Katherine compelled Stefan to love her, but Damon was that bitchy love's bitch of his own volition. It ended badly, as these things do, so I won't dwell.

Nowadays, Matt "Pudding Pop" Donovan is hung up on his childhood sweetheart Elena, but since she's all about Stefan, Matt deals in a healthy way, by getting involved with the lovely but insecure Caroline Forbes, whose mother, Liz, is Mystic Falls' sheriff. Elena's best friend, Bonnie Bennett, is a witch whose hobbies include pretending to deactivate a vampire-disabling device (the Gilbert Gizmo), while actually doing nothing of the kind. There's this whole big vampire ensnarement and massacre thing at the Founders' Day shindig that ends with Bonnie relenting and allowing/enabling Stefan to save his brother from a fiery death. Damon knows that Bonnie chose mercy only for Elena's sake, and therefore deduces that he is important to Elena -- with whom he is smitten, regardless (or because) of the fact that she is his brother's woman. So, when Damon goes to thank Elena for his life, they TOTALLY MAKE OUT. Judgy Guardian Aunt Jenna catches them in the clinch and RUINS EVERYTHING by bringing Elena inside Gilbert Gables. Once Jenna is off screen, we learn that the Damon-kissing-Elena isn't actually Elena at all. Oh no, she's dead-ringer KATHERINE PIERCE. Katherine enters the kitchen, cuts off John "Uncle Snark Daddy" Gilbert's fingers (including the one that bears his gaudy but mystical protect-o-ring), knifes him in the gut, and leaves us hanging for an entire summer, just as the real Elena arrives home.

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Vampire Diaries

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