Hospital: Matt is keeping vigil in a lonely hallway, while Caroline fights for her life in surgery. When Bonnie arrives and asks what happened, Matt explains that as Tyler was driving them home he complained about a noise only he could hear, fell prey to an insta-migraine, and lost control of the car. Bonnie looks stricken as it dawns on her that her Gilbert Gizmo disarming charade is to blame for Caroline's critical condition. And I love you Bon, but you deserve that leaden lump you're feeling in your tiny tummy.
Meanwhile, Damon finds Liz "She's the Sheriff" Forbes in another hallway and asks after Caroline. Voice wavering, she asks for Damon's help and tells him about Mayor Lockwood's death (because she doesn't know Damon witnessed the event). He plays dumb and asks if the Mayor was a vampire. Liz says he couldn't have been, and she knows Carol "Mama Mulva" Lockwood is going to want answers, but Liz can't deal unless and until Caroline is okay. When she dissolves into tears, Damon comforts her in his arms, inspiring the audience to master the skill of crying on cue. Sniff.
When Elena arrives at the hospital, Damon lurks around the corner, as Bonnie tells her Caroline might not make it. Once Elena asks Bonnie to magically heal their friend, Damon delurks, both to mock Bonnie's inability to help, and to remind Elena that he's man enough for that and any job. A dose of his blood will have Caroline up and at 'em in no time. He insists it's a low-risk endeavor. Caroline will remain safely ensconced in the hospital for a while, so there's little chance of her dying and becoming a vampire before his blood works its way out of his system. Elena is not willing to take that chance, but Bonnie -- spurred on by guilt -- orders him to do it. Damon may pine for Elena, but he's scared of Bonnie, so he proposes a face and hide-saving bargain: if he heals Caroline, he and Bonnie will call a truce. Bonnie scoffs as she refuses, adding, "But you'll do it anyway." She smirks, and then: "For Elena." Neener neener neener.
Once Bonnie struts off, Damon tells Elena they should talk about "what happened" tonight. Elena says, "Yeah, one of the tomb vampires got in the house and almost killed John." Damon had been referring to their smoochies, so now he's just confused. "What are you talking about? After I left?" Since Elena never saw him, she seizes the confusion baton, because she has no idea what he's going on about. Damon rolls his eyes at her, assuming she's playing obtuse, and finally spells it out: "Come on, we kissed, Elena!" Elena closes her eyes and whatevers him. When she starts to leave, he grabs her by the wrist. "Hey, if you want to forget it happened? Fine. But I can't."