Vampire Diaries
The Sun Also Rises

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: N/A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Rite, Rite, You're Bloody Well Rite

Quarry: Isn't there usually water at quarries? Maybe I'm wrong, but this seems much more like a clearing to me. Pool. Pond. Pond would be good for you. Who has time to think? Anyhow, Elena explains to Jenna how everything is more intense for vampires -- sensations, emotions, etc., but that she should now have the ability to turn off her humanity and escape the anguish. Elena swears she won't let Jenna die. Before Jenna can ask how the hell Elena can be making guarantees, the ladies hear a woman's scream. They realize it must be the werewolf, and hey! Why hasn't Jules wolfed out when Tyler already has? Well, because, there's an app spell for that. Greta Manwitch has slowed Jules' transformation so that we don't have to think.

Elena tries to lecture Greta about how she serves nature and she's totally fighting on the wrong side. Greta says her duty is to Klaus and the new order. I'm glad she didn't say, "New world order" because "new order" creeps me out enough by itself. Klaus practically purrs when he overhears his magical minion pledging her loyalty. "Glad to know I still have a dance partner." Elena and Jenna both size him up and wish they'd brought their dancing shoes! No. I'm getting transfer-y. They size him up and shiver. He's not done smarming at them, yet, and heaven help me, but I kinda love him in a hate-filled sort of way. "Hello, my lovelies. Are we ready?" As if on cue (okay, actually on cue) Jules moans.

Lockwood Mansion: Matt and Caroline Stealth-Salvatore from the ruins of ye olde Lockwood Estate to ye new one. Once semi-safely ensconced inside the Mayoral Mansion, Caroline asks Matt how he knows about her -- especially since she compelled him to forget -- at his request, I might add. He 'fesses up about the Vervain, the spying, and that Sheriff Forbes is a bigot and knows everything too. Caroline wants to know where all this leaves her and Pudding Pop. He tells her it leaves them where they are -- shut in a house, trying to avoid getting mauled by their friend. Isn't it romantic?

Mossy Manse: On his way to answer a knock at the door, Damon's legs almost give out. He stops and examines the wound on his forearm, in case we've forgotten he's been bitten by a werewolf and that werewolf bites mean certain death for vampires. Damon, we haven't thought of anything else since episode 2-20. This is unnecessary posturing, honey. Anyhow, it's John at the door. When he strolls in, Damon informs him that Klaus has Elena. John lambasts Damon for failing to keep Elena safe, and Damon, who has been so unhappy that he ignored Elena's free will and forced his blood on her, is suddenly thrilled, because hey -- he hates John (who doesn't?) and it's good damned fun to taunt him about the fact that his daughter will be saved by becoming that which Uncle Snark Daddy hates most in the world (when it's not Isobel): vampires. Nah nah nah nah boo boo. John lunges for Damon, which is just asinine. Damon warns him not to screw with him today. John can't shut up, so he starts in on how Damon has ruined Elena's life. Damon is all: Tell me something I didn't know. I totally suck.

And then he says, "Trust me. It gets worse." John: "How could it possibly get any worse?" My Friend Jen: "Have you read the script, Mr. Anders?"

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Vampire Diaries

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