Quarry: The three sacrificial dams are in the burning rings o'fire, wishing like hell they were there for a posthumous video shoot with Johnny Cash, while Satan Klaus caresses the moonstone and talks to himself as super-villains are wont to do. Oh no wait, he's talking to Ms. Manwitch, but not really. He's just reminding us he's spent 500 years searching for the moonstone. He hates to part with it, but hands it off to Greta, who notes that the moon is past its apex. "Remember everything you need to do?" Klaus: "I remember." Greta drops it into her rock cauldron. Once it explodes, she starts chanting. Meanwhile, Jules tries to explain herself to Elena, who finally realizes who she is. "Oh, you're Tyler's friend? I totally thought you were a third Hilton sister." There's magicking, moaning, groaning and Klaus giving Jules a come hither look as he says, "Shall we?" She finally lunges at him. He throws her to the ground, mounts her, and rips out her heart. It's commercial time. Might I recommend you not get a snack during this break, because it's soon going to get way more disgusting that it just was.
Safe House:As Jeremy pores over Emily Bennett's grimoire, he finds a mention of Johnathan (sic, I say, sic) Gilbert. Bonnie smiles as she notes that she thinks Emily had a crush on Great-Uncle Sic. The darling duo gets all dove-eyed for a moment, but only just. Time grows short and they have an Elena to save from immortality, super-strength, super-speed and super-sex. There's also a mention of a resuscitation spell, but no details. Hey. I thought the grimoire was a witch's recipe book. Man, I hate people who don't document in detail. Why even keep a grimoire, if you can't be arsed to write down a seemingly important ritual like ONE THAT MIGHT BRING PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD?! What the hell? No wonder they burned you alive, Emily. Too bad none of your descendants had access to your resuscitation spell. Just as Germ is going to call Stefan and ask him to bring over Great-Uncle Sic's journals, Alaric shows up and asks for time alone with Jeremy. As Bonnie retreats upstairs, Alaric tells Jeremy that Satan Klaus has Jenna. Bonnie learns the same thing from Stefan and Elijah, so why they had to split up to break this news is beyond me. Bonnie is ready to ride out and kill Klaus, immediately. Stefan reminds Bonnie that killing Klaus right now before he's in transition will kill her. "It's not an option." Bonnie: "Neither is letting Jenna die." S'okay. Stefan is going to offer himself in exchange for Jenna. Now I feel bad about how I went off last week on how he gets to look noble largely because he can rely on Damon's pragmatism. I mean, this truly is noble. Sorry, Stef!