Vampire Diaries
The Sun Also Rises

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: N/A | 1 USERS: A+
Rite, Rite, You're Bloody Well Rite

Now it's time for Klaus to transition. It's painful for the son of a bitch, and thank goodness. While everyone is distracted, Bonnie emerges from the tree line, throwing magic here and there and chanting her bony little butt off. When Greta turns to see what's happening, Damon sneaks up behind her and snaps Ms. Manwitch's neck. See, Corpse-Of-Jenna? That's what I'm talking 'bout.

Bonnie batters Klaus with her power as he screams in pain and then yells, "I thought you were dead." It's bloody, fiery, painful and loud. There's thunder. There's lightning. There's Damon de-staking Stefan, who orders big bro to get Elena out of there. Damon says, "What about you?" Stefan: "I'm not leaving 'til he's dead. Go!"

Bonnie is ferocious, here. I can't do her justice, so why torture you with my futile attempts. Just watch the damned episode. Once she has Klaus subdued, Elijah reveals himself and plunges his hand into Satan Klaus's chest. "In the name of our family, Niklaus..." Klaus: "I didn't bury them at sea." Elijah: "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Klaus: "Spare me and I'll take you to their bodies." Elijah: "Dude, that changes everything." Klaus: "I know, right? PSYCH!" Stefan: "Elijah, don't listen to him." Klaus: "No, totally listen to me, me, me." Elijah: "What to do? What to do?" Klaus: "I give you my word, brother." Elijah: "Well, an Original's word is his bond, except for right now when I'm ready to betray the Fellowship of the Falls, despite my repeated assurances that I would never do any such thing." Bonnie: "Do it and I'll take you both out." Elijah: "You'll die." Bonnie: "I don't care." Momentous Music: "Do do do do do do do do." Elijah: "I'm sorry." Stefan and Bonnie: "No! No." As they rush Elijah and Klaus, Elijah scoops up his brother and Stealth-Salvatores right over the flames and into the night. Bonnie and Stefan don't even try to give chase because it's not in the script for them to do so, you dig? Commercial.

Safe House; Morning: As Snark writes a farewell letter to his daughter-niece, Jeremy realizes that in binding his life-force to Elena's, John is sacrificing himself. John doesn't care. I mean, what's an Uncle Daddy to do except write his bio-child a letter that can be read after his death in melodramatic voice-over, and bequeath to her and her progeny his mystical protect-o ring? Just then Damon brings a still dead Elena back to the first floor of the safe house and tells her dead ears that if she comes back as a vampire, he'll stake her himself, because he can't stand the thought of her hating him forever, and it's all about him. Alaric and Jeremy rush upstairs and look on as Damon strokes Elena's face. John follows behind, but wanders outside to die alone, the big emo goober. As Elena comes gasping back to life and Damon tries to make sure she's not a vampire, John drops dead on the front lawn. Hooray!

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Vampire Diaries




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