MFHS Parking Lot: Caroline can't find Bonnie so she leaves her a message that she wants to go home. Just then, Scum drives up and asks if she needs a ride. She fakes a gasp. "Oh my God, Logan Fell, Channel 9! Is that you?" He reminds her that he used to baby-sit her, so she shouldn't mock him. Matt watches unhappily, from a distance as Caroline gets in Scum's car. She notes that this is fate, because she's interested in broadcast journalism, and wants to ask him some questions. He tells her she can ask anything she wants, but she should buckle up, first. As soon as she does, that son of a bitch smashes her poor head up against the side window, knocking her out. You can kill him anytime now, Damon. Okay? And someone get me some Vervain, stat. I'm going to mail it to Julie Plec during the...Commercial.

Elena and Stefan are greeted with a "Hey," from Matt as they stride down the hallway. Elena asks Matt if he's seen "Logan Fell, the news guy." Matt nods. "Yeah. He just gave Caroline a ride home." Oh Matt honey, I'd feel badly for you right now, but I'm more worried about Caroline, who is only with Scum because you were flirting with Elena and because her mother -- who knows about Vervain but hasn't given her any -- would screw up a free lunch. Stefan tells Elena to stay there, and takes off.

p>Outside, the Mayor tries to make Jeremy and Tyler fight. When the boys refuse, the Mayor gets nasty, particularly with his own kid. He makes with a lot of tough guy talk about what "pansies" do, and how his dad taught him: "Fight your battles like men, and move on." Even when you've already moved on, apparently. He follows up by barking some more about how they should fight. Alaric walks out in the middle of this, but hangs back, until the Mayor shoves Tyler really hard, growling: "I said fight." The Mayor attempts to run Alaric off, but he won't budge. He wants to know what's going on. The Mayor's all, "Who do you think you're talking to? Do I look like a student?" Alaric says, "No, you look like a full grown alpha male douche bag." I'm so tired of the word douche on TV, that I've spent countless How I Met Your Mother weecaps referring to the show-called/so-called douche-side of Ted Mosby as "Duke Ted," but right now, after that line from Alaric, douche sounds as fresh as a summer's eve. Cough. Tyler makes an Oh-No-He-Didn't-Face off Alaric's comment, but in a good way. Jeremy's just in awe and possibly in love, but who could blame him? The Mayor howls vague threats about having Alaric's job. Alaric's all like, Cool, then I can kick your ass out here, free from worry. He squints for good measure. "You cool with that?" LOVE HIM! The Mayor snarls that Alaric has just marked himself. When Alaric purrs, "Good," the Mayor scampers off. Tyler follows along, with his tail between his legs. Once they're alone, Jeremy does his level best not to fall at Alaric's feet. I'm impressed.