Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1841 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Full-Grown Alpha Male Douche Bag

Scum brags that he's got tons of wooden bullets, so Damon had better not try anything funky. When Damon groans, "You don't want to do this -- trust me," Scum shoots him again. Yippee! He also accuses Damon of making him "like this." Damon corrects: "I killed you. I didn't turn you." Scum could not care less. He knows what Stefan and Damon are, and he wants some information. But first, Damon wants to know who turned him. Scum loudly claims not to know. "I was about to stake your brother, and then you grabbed me. That's it, until I woke up in the ground, behind a used car dealership on Rte. 4. Somebody buried me." Damon's in great pain as he's digging the wooden bullets out of his own flesh, but that doesn't stop him from sniping, "It happens." When Scum persists in blaming Damon for siring him, Damon explains that he must have had vampire blood in his system when he died, and Damon didn't do that. I can't decide if Scum looks genuinely confused, or is just fronting, but he demands to know who else would have done this. That's what Damon wants to know. Scum says, "Dude, it wasn't like the welcome wagon was waiting with a bundt cake and a handbook. It's been a learn-as-you-go process." He is rocking the insane-in-the-basementSpike impression. He's bitter about losing his career to become immortal, but even worse -- he can't get into his own apartment. Mythology Moment: Damon explains he has to be invited in. Scum already knows that. "I live alone." Okay, we knew the invites were necessary already, but I'm calling it a Mythology Moment, because, well -- he can't even enter his own place when no other humans reside within? That's just sorta dumb (although the visual is priceless). Damon's still in agony, but even he can't suppress a laugh. "Oh, oh ho ho. That sucks." Scum bitches about killing, but liking it, but being conflicted (at which Damon says, "Welcome to the club"). Damon chides Scum for being careless with his corpses. Scum says he got tired (which makes no sense as vampires seem to get a boost when they feed; and the show has told us that human blood makes them stronger) and left one behind. He's got the rest of the corpses piled up, right in the back of the warehouse. Even Damon grimaces at this. And we cut to...

Vampire Diaries

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