Logan "Scum" Fell is a vampire. He's back, and he's hungry, particularly for something Jenna-flavored, but based on his reaction when Jenna has the good sense to refuse him an invite, I wouldn't say he's picky. As a seemingly orphaned baby vamp (more on that in the weecap), Scum is not too clear on monster etiquette. He's also desperate to get some revenge on the Brothers Salvatore, or at least find out how and why they're "daywalkers" but his go-to means of persuasion is wooden bullets, so Damon's not feeling too chatty. When Scum absconds with Caroline from some nighttime event at the school, it's Damon and Stefan to her rescue. Since Scum has rendered the poor thing unconscious, Stefan takes her home, leaving Damon to slay Scum. And he's totally going to. He just wants to find out who sired him, first. If Scum knows, he's not saying, so Damon's about to decapitate him. But then -- Scum tells Damon he knows another way to free the vamps held captive beneath the old Falls Church (where Katherine and two baker's dozen other vamps are magically buried). Damon can't resist, so when he sees the Sheriff approaching the scene, he tells Scum to make it look like he over-powered him and then take off -- which he does. They plan to meet later, in the woods. When the sheriff arrives, Damon plays helpless and hapless human to the understanding Sheriff who is just glad to hear her daughter got home safely.
Meanwhile, Jeremy tries to make nice with Tyler, but Tyler hasn't been enthralled to the extent Jeremy was, so they end up coming to blows. Their fight is broken up by Tyler's Mayor-Dad and that new teacher who likes invites and bling -- Alaric Saltzman. But the Mayor then drags the boys outside and tries to make them fight each other, even though they're not interested. Alaric follows them and puts a stop to the Mayor's sadistic game, but not before the Mayor is all too rough on his son, acting -- in Alaric's words, like "a full-grown alpha male douche bag." Later, Alaric encounters Scum, knows him for what he is, and stakes him. Sigh. I have such a thing for slayers. And of course, because Damon can fall in shit and come up smelling like roses, when the sheriff finds Scum's decaying, vamp corpse, she thinks Damon is to thank -- so she does. And somewhere in there, Germ hunts Tyler down, and offers sympathy that his father is such a dick, but his sympathy pisses Tyler off, so he punches Germ. When Germ asks Ty what his problem is, Ty pauses under the FULL MOON, staggers, and says, "I don't know." Say, did anyone else think it was hinky that MFHS' teams are the Timberwolves? Yeah, me neither. Arrooooooo!
Meanwhile, Stefan and Elena continue to ride the seesaw of love. At first, that's a metaphor. Later? Not so much, if you know what I'm saying, and I know you do. Also? She tells him she loves him. But after the loving, he leaves her in his room while he goes to get her a drink, and she (FINALLY) finds Katherine's portrait – on account of the fact that he just left it lying out! Stefan's super-vamp hearing fails him, and he doesn't hear her take off. When he returns to his room, all that's left is her Vervain-laced amulet, lying atop Katherine's picture. As the magical necklace-free Elena makes her tearful way through the night, some vamp or other boogedy boogedy jumps in front of her car and she doesn't have time to swerve; she hits him; her windshield breaks; her car goes careening and flips over and over, landing upside down. Still trapped in the car, Elena tries not to freak as she looks out the window at her "victim." He unbreaks all his bones, stands and strides towards her wrecked car. Elena screams because these BASTARDS ARE LEAVING US HANGING LIKE THIS FOR THE HOLIDAY HIATUS. Grr. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
I'll catch you on the flipside with the full weecap, which will include Matt's feelings for Caroline!!! In the meantime, come on over to the forums. It will keep you from inviting your ex in. Seriously? Don't invite him in.
Now: We pick up where we left off at the end off "History Repeating." It's nighttime and Logan "Scum" Fell is at the Gilbert Gables door, trying to wheedle an invite inside, from Jenna. She's still pissed that he rekindled their romance and then took off, with no notice except an email. He's surprised that there was an e-mail, but hides it well enough through his repeated requests for an invitation and his degrading summary of her character. "C'mon Jenna. It's me. I know you. You were always one step from a maybe -- a tiny nudge to yes." Aunt Jenna ain't having that, yo, and closes the door in his face. Hurrah! Out on the sidewalk, Scum eyes the older gentleman next door who's taking his trash the curb. Drusilla says: "I met an old man. I didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth." And Scum must have boned up on his Buffy (not like that, although given Buffy's...never mind) because in his crazy baby-vamp persona, Scum really takes on an air of Spike. After he greets the gentleman, he decides since he's got no floss handy, he'll let him continue back inside his safe-as-houses home, unmolested. There's more Spike-ishness as Logan inhales deeply, and his vamp sniffer picks up the scent of a succulent niblet who is jogging around the corner. Did you see James Marsters written all over Scum's physicality, in this scene? Niblet stops, because she's a big fan of Scum's newscast; she's missed him while he's been off the air. She introduces herself as Daphne; they shake hands and then Scum vamps out -- right there on the sidewalk. Right in front of Gilbert Gables. We fade to black just about the time Daphne is blacking out from blood loss, and...Title card.
Morning at Gilbert Gables: Jeremy narrates that he lives in fear. But don't worry, he hasn't caught the DIARY-Ahhhh, too. He's reading the journal of his ancestor, Jonathan Gilbert, who, back in the 1860s, was waxing terrified about his all-consuming fear of the night -- and the death it brings. Except for the wussy bits, the journal is very John Winchester-esque -- filled not only with text, but also drawings of things that go bump in the night, and pentagrams, etc. When he turns the page, Germ finds a loose sketch of a scary looking guy who may have something carved on his face, or might be in the process of turning into a werewolf, or maybe he's just fugly. It's hard to tell. The important thing, you see, is that it prompts Jeremy to make a Hey-wait-a-minute face and drag out his own sketch book. He smiles (!!!) as he leafs through the pages, grabs a piece of charcoal, and gets to work on a new sketch. His bedroom door is ajar, which gives Elena the opportunity to notice what he's doing. She smiles the smugly-pleased-smile any sister might smile AFTER LETTING HER BABY BROTHER GET MIND-WIPED BY A MONSTER, and then closes his door, which seems sort of not her place. If you open my door, and find I'm busy and then shut it -- we're good (although knocking would be nice). However, if I'm happily doodling away in my own room, and I left the door ajar, leave it fricking ajar, m'kay? I'm so glad I'm an only child, but that's neither here nor there.
Elena tells Jenna the big damn news that Jeremy is back to (the) drawing (board). They decide they'll pretend not to notice, so that he doesn't stop in a fit of pique. They also talk a little about Stefan, but Elena cuts the discussion short, saying she stopped asking questions because the answers were too scary. Jenna, the world's most crap guardian, doesn't pick up on that. At all. Instead the conversation turns to her surprise visit from Scum. Elena lays down the law. Jenna must stay so far away from Scum that she doesn't even watch the news. Jenna, who doesn't get enough storyline in my opinion, does get to toss out some foreshadowing, though: "No more Scum Fell." Join me as I chant: "So mote it be."
Mossy Manse: Stefan wants to know when Damon's getting out of Dodge and where he's going. Damon mentions London and catching up with old friends, so Stefan snarks that he has no friends. Damon's fine with that. He wants to travel with Stefan -- he even kids him about trying out for The Amazing Race, together. And you know what? As far as I'm concerned, you've got yourself a deal, Damon. If the Brothers Salvatore (or their portrayers) ever actually go on TAR, or Survivor, or, heaven forefend -- The Bachelor, I will tune in. 'Til then, my idiot box will automatically turn to scripted over unscripted, and fantasy over "reality" -- because that's the way I'm programmed (and so is my TiVo -- ooh, except for Say 'Yes' to the Dress, because that shit is AWEsome). But no, Stefan pisses all over Damon's big plans. He's thinking they should vacation separately and permanently. Damon's feelings are saved by the doorbell. It's Sheriff Forbes, who is there for some double super seekrit vampire hunting talk with Damon, since he's the only "person" she knows who has ever successfully taken down a vampire. He invites her in, but takes her out to the patio, explaining that he'd like to keep the town's horrible truth from Stefan. She's-the-Sheriff agrees. "The kids are too young to be brought into this." Oh, Sheriff, if you only knew how old that kid in the parlor is, and how far your own little Goldilocks has been dragged into it by his brother/your new BFF. And while I don't like to come down on a fellow mother, Sheriff -- you know the score and you have Vervain, and yet you're not sneaking it in Caroline's Diet Coke, dissolving some in your fabric softener and pinning it to her hems? Sheesh, She's-. Anyhow, she tells Damon about Daphne's doom and asks for his help. I love the irony that Stefan, who is using his super-vamp hearing to eavesdrop from the parlor, suspects his big brother has fallen off the wagon. Again. But this time, Damon's completely innocent and nearly as surprised by this turn of events as Sheriff Forbes.
MFHS; Hallway: Matt's talking to Caroline about what I take to be some dancing show. [So You Think You Can Dance. Don't ask. Let's just say maybe I know a TWoP mod who might have banned a few posters from that forum a couple of years ago -- including
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