Vampire Diaries

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Full-Grown Alpha Male Douche Bag
ke>herself (and I she totally deserved it). --Barnes] There's a bunch of cute back-n-forth stuff between them that demonstrates how close these two are growing, so I'll just quote my favorite exchange. Matt: "Did you see The Celine Dion Waltz About Cancer?" Caroline: "Those always make me cry." Hee. Tyler gets an eyeful of the budding couple. He doesn't vocalize his shock, but his face screams, BOGGLE?! Elena and Bonnie take it all in, too. E gets kind of prickly, like you do, when an ex- you really like (but don't love, but might sort of kind of want to keep in reserve when you're on the outs with your current squeeze) starts to move on from being incapacitated by his overwhelming love for you. Okay, you would never be like that, Gentle Reader, but some people may have been there in the past. I hear. Bonnie, the voice of sanity (who is only in this scene), points out that Caroline needs someone nice like Matt, rather than a homicidal vampire like Damon. Elena can't argue with that, so she asks Bonnie how she's doing coming to terms with the vampires-are-real crash course she got in "History Repeating." Bonnie's freaked that she came so close to death, thanks to Damon, but she's also grateful that Stefan saved her life. She then asks Elena how things are with Stefan. Elena explains that nothing has changed; he's leaving -- in what she believes is a misguided effort to protect her. When Bonnie says that maybe it's for the best, Elena feigns cluelessness, so Bonnie asks straight out: "What kind of future could you have had with him, even if he stayed?" Just then a big hallway-straddling banner wafts down in front of the girls. It reads: "The Promise of YOUR Future." Elena starts to accuse Bonnie of witching it down in front of them, but Bonnie swears she's innocent. No matter, Elena is already in the mood to stomp off, so she does.

Mossy Manse: As soon as Damon sees She's-the-Sheriff out, Stefan confronts him (violently). Damon warns him off and talks him down, reminding Stefan that he would never be so sloppy as to leave a corpse lying out on the streets. He says, "There's another vampire in town." Stefan says, "That's impossible," which -- why, exactly? Damon says, "Obviously not." He then takes a who cares attitude, until Stefan says that he can't leave town now that this has happened. He wonders how they'll find the vamp. Damon tells him to let the adults handle this stuff. Heh.

MFHS; Exterior: Elena exits school to find Stefan seated on a picnic table, just waiting for her. She swallows hard as she looks at him, but says not a word. Finally, he rises and says, "We need to...talk."

Over on the basketball court, Tyler is ragging on Matt (who's wearing that black tank top abomination-that-causes-desolation, again) about Caroline and "tapping that" and whether or not they're becoming 'we' people, which I totally took as wee people -- at least long enough to imagine them as leprechauns and WANT! Ahem. Matt tries to shrug off the teasing. "We hung out like...twice." Tyler smiles. "Like I said. 'We'."

Picnic table: Stefan catches Elena up on the new vampire in town and that although he can never be sure it's not Damon, he really doesn't think it is, since Damon's been trying to lie low. Stefan's telling her now, because he promised her the truth, and because he wants her to be careful. Elena admits that when she saw him, she thought he was there to say goodbye to her. Stefan takes a deep breath. "Not yet."

Gilbert Gables: Germ is sketching a scary looking guy with an angular face and pointy teeth. He shows it to Jenna who deems it creepy. He tells her about Jonathan Gilbert's freaky journal full of stories of demons and slaughter. Jenna (who isn't a Gilbert; she's a Summers Sommers) tells Germ his great-whatever was a writer -- short stories, horror, etc. Jeremy seems surprised Jonathan Gilbert wrote fiction. "I figured he was either a lunatic or a drunk." Jenna laughs as she grabs a book off the nearby shelf and hands it to Jeremy. "Well, he was a Gilbert. Probably a little bit of both." Jeremy smiles. Again. I could get used to this.

Warehouse Exterior; Day: Caroline holds the ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASS while Damon instructs her, via cell phone, to wait there for him. He can't use the instrument himself on account of being an ACTUAL VAMPIRE. They bicker for a moment, and then Damon hypnotizes her -- instructing her to go home and forget all about what they've just done. She sounds like the Buffy-bot as she perks, "Okay, bye now." I think Damon rolls his eyes at her, but I've temporarily lost the ability to process this scene, because I'm so annoyed that not one person who knows better -- Stefan, Elena, Sheriff Forbes, or hell -- at this point, even Bonnie, has given this child some Vervain. And actually despite that, I'm also sort of torn, because I enjoy watching these two work together. I'm just tired of her being his buttmonkey. You know? Once Caroline is gone, Damon strong arms the (apparently) locked warehouse door. Once inside, he's immediately shot -- multiple times -- by Scum! Now, I sort of hate Scum and I sort of love Damon, but I laughed and cheered. Damon totally deserves whatever he gets for treating Caroline like his minion, and for killing Stefan's FBfBFF, Lexi. Shoot him again, Scum! Awww, not right now, dammit. Commercial.

Scum brags that he's got tons of wooden bullets, so Damon had better not try anything funky. When Damon groans, "You don't want to do this -- trust me," Scum shoots him again. Yippee! He also accuses Damon of making him "like this." Damon corrects: "I killed you. I didn't turn you." Scum could not care less. He knows what Stefan and Damon are, and he wants some information. But first, Damon wants to know who turned him. Scum loudly claims not to know. "I was about to stake your brother, and then you grabbed me. That's it, until I woke up in the ground, behind a used car dealership on Rte. 4. Somebody buried me." Damon's in great pain as he's digging the wooden bullets out of his own flesh, but that doesn't stop him from sniping, "It happens." When Scum persists in blaming Damon for siring him, Damon explains that he must have had vampire blood in his system when he died, and Damon didn't do that. I can't decide if Scum looks genuinely confused, or is just fronting, but he demands to know who else would have done this. That's what Damon wants to know. Scum says, "Dude, it wasn't like the welcome wagon was waiting with a bundt cake and a handbook. It's been a learn-as-you-go process." He is rocking the insane-in-the-basementSpike impression. He's bitter about losing his career to become immortal, but even worse -- he can't get into his own apartment. Mythology Moment: Damon explains he has to be invited in. Scum already knows that. "I live alone." Okay, we knew the invites were necessary already, but I'm calling it a Mythology Moment, because, well -- he can't even enter his own place when no other humans reside within? That's just sorta dumb (although the visual is priceless). Damon's still in agony, but even he can't suppress a laugh. "Oh, oh ho ho. That sucks." Scum bitches about killing, but liking it, but being conflicted (at which Damon says, "Welcome to the club"). Damon chides Scum for being careless with his corpses. Scum says he got tired (which makes no sense as vampires seem to get a boost when they feed; and the show has told us that human blood makes them stronger) and left one behind. He's got the rest of the corpses piled up, right in t

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Vampire Diaries

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