Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 2 USERS: A-
Full-Grown Alpha Male Douche Bag
eat. "You CAN'T." I had been hoping he'd tell Scum to just believe really hard that he could do it, and then he'd be able, but this worked better, because damn. That was sexy. And Stefan's not done. "Don't ever threaten me. Again." And again? I say damn. He brushes past Scum, leaving him there to stew.

Meanwhile, Elena is trying to get Jenna to tell her -- specifically -- what Logan said during his visit to Gilbert Gables. Jenna blathers a few meaningless details then adds, "He kept trying to convince me to let him in." Ding ding ding. Elena's eyes flash as her mouth falls open. When Jenna says, "What?" Elena tells her that she is not to talk to Logan ever again. Don't you think she should have added "And whatever you do, do NOT invite him into the house." My word. The stupid, it burns. Fortunately, it's soon cooled by the lanky swagger of Alaric Saltzman, who comes over to greet the ladies. Jenna's delighted to see him, and we cut to...

MFHS Exterior; Night: Stefan's on his cell listening to Damon tell him that Logan Fell is a vampire and Damon's so going to kill him once he finds him. "I was ambushed. I was shot...." We cut to Mossy Manse, where Damon's stripping in front of the mirror. So we get to see his back and his front. Sigh. If not for the Vervain around my neck, I'd be forgiving them Matt's black tank top abomination-that-causes-desolation, right about now. Damon throws his shirt to the ground. "Now I'm vengeful." Good for you, Damon. Scum needs to die. Not a problem. Stefan informs him that Scum's at the school, right now. Damon will be right there. They end their call and Elena walks up to Stefan and asks him if there's anything he'd like to tell her.

MFHS Interior: Caroline drags her Mom, Sheriff Forbes, over to see the broadcast journalism booth and explains her interest. Mom, who is constantly trying to connect with Caroline, only to be rebuffed, completely bungles the exchange, by pointing out (probably truthfully) that Caroline never even picks up a newspaper. Caroline gives her a withering look and turns her back on her mother. Before She's-the-Sheriff can commit to following her daughter, Scum calls to her from behind. "Liz?" Who knew she had a real name? When she realizes who she's staring at, her eyes grow as wide as saucers. She reaches as if for a weapon and then pauses to look around the crowded room. Fell smarms, "What are you going to do, stake me?" He's pissed that she swept him under the carpet like so much dirt. She points out he was dead and she actually buried him. Reminding him that he was onboard for the Council's vampire hunt does no good. He snarls, "I was one of you." Liz says, "And now you're one of them." He starts to leave and then leans over her shoulder from behind and whispers in her ear that she should watch her back. Liz calls into the station. "Get a backup team to the school, immediately. Keep it within the circle. It's a V5." Oh, I want to know all their vamp codes, now.

Tyler is walking beneath a The Promise of YOUR Future banner when Jeremy catches up with him, all chatty and pleasant, saying, "I didn't know you drew." Tyler snarls, "It's an elective." Jeremy compliments him on his work and tries to establish a connection, noting that graphics are his thing. Tyler stops him -- wanting to know what all this friendliness is about. Germ stumbles that it's just something else they have in common. Tyler says, "What's the other thing, Vicki? Let's hang out because we did the same chick? Go be friends with one of the many other guys that she screwed. There's no shortage of them." Even after adjusting for the net loss of the Bananas Foster Gang, at the Sizzler? At that, Jeremy loses his cool and shoves Tyler up against the lockers. As they start to go at it, I wonder if the hypnosis isn't wearing off just a little bit, but before long, the fight is broken up when Alaric grabs Jeremy and the Mayor grabs Tyler (his son). Alaric's taking the normal adult approach of trying to cool everyone down, but the Mayor orders the two boys to come with him. When Alaric asks where he's taking the kids the Mayor says, "I'm going to talk with them. All fights should end in handshakes, don't you think?" Alaric doesn't look like he's buying it as we cut to...

MFHS Parking Lot: Caroline can't find Bonnie so she leaves her a message that she wants to go home. Just then, Scum drives up and asks if she needs a ride. She fakes a gasp. "Oh my God, Logan Fell, Channel 9! Is that you?" He reminds her that he used to baby-sit her, so she shouldn't mock him. Matt watches unhappily, from a distance as Caroline gets in Scum's car. She notes that this is fate, because she's interested in broadcast journalism, and wants to ask him some questions. He tells her she can ask anything she wants, but she should buckle up, first. As soon as she does, that son of a bitch smashes her poor head up against the side window, knocking her out. You can kill him anytime now, Damon. Okay? And someone get me some Vervain, stat. I'm going to mail it to Julie Plec during the...Commercial.

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Vampire Diaries




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