Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Full-Grown Alpha Male Douche Bag

Mossy Manse: Shirtless Stefan (saints preserve us) returns to his room with Elena's drink, but she's not there. He calls out her name, and my word, did someone take a Sharpie and draw on those abs? And pecs? And biceps? And all those other muscles I don't know any decent names for? Whatevs. Just believe me when I say they're on the verge of being obscene. He stops when he gets to the table and notices -- not only Katherine's portrait, but Elena's Vervain necklace laying right on top of it. He picks up the picture and looks off as if he'll find her, but he won't, because we cut to...

A Dark Road: Elena fights back the tears as she drives through the night. Suddenly -- some vamp or other boogedy boogedy jumps in front of her car. Elena doesn't have time to swerve; she hits him. He lands on her windshield, breaking it. Elena's car goes careening and flips over and over, landing upside down. Still trapped in the car, Elena coughs out broken glass as she tries not to freak. She looks out the window at her "victim." He resets all his broken bones, rises to his full height, and strides towards her wrecked car. Elena screams because these BASTARDS ARE LEAVING US HANGING LIKE THIS FOR THE HOLIDAY HIATUS. Grr. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. There were a couple of things in this episode that bothered me (see the preceding gazillion pages), but getting to the "I love you," the sex scene and the Elena = Katherine's doppelganger reveal? Well, that mooted all my nitpicks, and then some. Alaric's a slayer? Tyler (and/or his dad) might be a werewolf? Matt likes Caroline (at least when Elena's not in the room)? Jeremy smiles? Are you kidding me? And now, what about poor Elena? Who and what is that, walking toward her on that dark country road? Who'll save her -- Damon, Stefan, Alaric, Bonnie, or will Elena save herself? And why in the name of all that's holy did she leave her Vervain necklace at Mossy Manse? Okay, she's pissed at Stefan. Maybe even over him (momentarily). But she now knows at least one of the kinds of things that goes bump in the night, and she knows how important that necklace is to her safety and to her self-determination. My heart breaks for her, but at the same time, I hope she gets damned good and scared and actually rues leaving her magical necklace behind. And what about Stefan, huh? Are you sitting there cursing him for hiding the biggest secret of all, or are you cutting him some slack, because he was planning to move on from Elena and leave her be. Do you think he would have told her about her resemblance to Katherine if they hadn't jumped ahead so quickly? Whew. You know, I'm still processing this one. There's so much to digest, I don't know if I have room for pie. I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year. Keep your fingers crossed that the next couple of months fly by. Thanks for watching, e-mailing, following me on Twitter, and especially for reading. You're a fun group of fans who totally gets it.

I'll catch you in -- my word -- JANUARY?! In the long, long meantime, come on over to the forums. It will keep you from inviting your ex in. Seriously? Do not invite him in. Do. Not. Bring your uninitiated friends over during the December marathon (12/14 -- 12/18) so they can be assimilated. In the meantime, let's raise a cup to kindness yet 'til our cravings subside.

During the hiatus, help keep Cindy off the streets. E-mail her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com., or follow her on Twitter.

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Vampire Diaries

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