Vampire Diaries
The Walking Dead

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A+ | 4 USERS: A
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Unbeing Dead Isn't Being Alive

Hospital. Stefan arrives to find Damon waiting for him. Big bro announces, "You just missed the donuts." I guess he doesn't have any shirtless scenes in his immediate future. I'll spare you their bickering. Thank goodness Liz arrives to break it up and spare me. Since Silas raided the blood banks however long ago that was, the hospital has kept them empty. Is it just me, or does that sound like criminally negligent malpractice. What if someone comes in with severe blood loss -- hardly rare in any hospital, never mind one set on a hellmouth in a vampire infested town? And to what end -- anyhow? If a starving vampire shows up and there's no blood in storage, will he just go away? To prove my point, Liz tells the boys someone broke in and drained five patients. Stefan figures Silas is fueling up for something big. Damon explains about the veil dropping spell. Liz doesn't understand, because like us, she's been watching all season, so she realizes the mythology has turned into a tangled, unsauced, unbuttered bowl of spaghetti. Since he's of Italian descent Damon, gets the spaghetti myth on a visceral level, and tries to explain Silas's aversion to the supernatural purgatory that is the Other Side, but I'd rather just look at our Evil Pixie Monster. Wouldn't you? Liz just wants to know when it all goes down. Damon answers, "Next full moon. Tomorrow night." We cut to the...

Woods. Night. Old Lockwood Grounds/Hollow of the Dozen Hapless Hybrids. Katherine whines about the aroma of the old Lockwood Cellar and decides she'll stay up above, but since she's linked to Bonnie, Kiki must tag along in reluctant obeisance, which is always fun. Since Katherine is Katherine, she points out she can kill Bonnie, so Bonnie spells it out: "Whatever happens to me, happens to you. Do you really think I want you here?" Bonnie does a spell, which we can tell because a wicked wind whips up. We cut to...

Downtown Mystic Falls. Bonnie's mojo is so far reaching that the wind rushes through town. Inside the Grill, Caroline asks Matt and Rebekah if it's supposed to rain tonight. I can't believe I bothered typing that when my only point is that Care Bear is not blind to the weather change. Let's blame it on my Spring Fever and sally forth.

Caroline watches as Elena throws darts -- at the dart board, mind you -- then says, "Well, someone needs to do something, before she explodes." Yes, because throwing darts is so darned dastardly. Rebekah's got this. Grabbing a bottle of booze, she heads towards Elena and tells her to drink because she's putting everyone on edge. When Rebekah tries to dig deeper, Elena admits she's picturing Katherine's face in lieu of the bullseye, but otherwise she's disinclined to share. "Look, Rebekah, I get that we had our Thelma and Louise thing, back when I had my humanity off, but let me make one thing clear. We're not friends." Oh, Show. That was a mistake. Elena sort of liked Rebekah and felt bad about daggering her before whatever dance that was. Also? Elena has been damned near loathsome to all but the die-hard Elena fans (I count myself among them) during this season. Couldn't she have cut Original Vampire Barbie a break? It's unseemly, I tell you what.

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Vampire Diaries

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