Vampire Diaries

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Cindy McLennan: B | 1 USERS: A+
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So That Was Kinda Hot
Now, on The Vampire Diaries -- the Germ voices the "Previously, on The Vampire Diaries bit, which makes me wonder if I'm drunk already, but it alas, it's just a stone cold sober fact. It also makes me wonder if this change marks a significant change of direction for Jeremy Gilbert, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Mostly, the Previouslies are the same old same old. Over a century. Dead ringer. Blah. Blee. Bloo. From more recent episodes, we're reminded that Anna's a vampire, and that Matt "Pudding Pop" Donovan's no-good mother, Kelly, hates Caroline. In fact, Kelly makes it a point to tell Elena that she broke Matt's heart, and that Caroline's just his rebound chick -- right in front of Matt AND Caroline. Nice. There's a tomb under the church. All the vampires arrested by the Council back in 1864 were saved by Emily Bennett's spell. Stefan tells Damon he can't just bring them back. Damon only cares about Katherine who found escape at the time of her arrest. They think it's all over, but alas, the spell that took Sheila Bennett's life failed to re-seal the tomb. Harper leaves it and finds his way to a Ms. Gibbons' house -- to Pearl, Anna and their reformed coven. As Anna shuts the door behind him, she realizes that by rescuing her mother, she's doomed herself to eternal life as a teenager, still under parental control. Muahahahahaha.

Note: I called Ms. Gibbons "Ms. Givens" in the recaplet, but that's only because I was woefully misled by the closed captioning. It's still Gibbons, just like I said last week. Also, in the recaplet, I gave Ms. Gibbons' house the nickname "Human Hovel," but I'm not liking that so much now, so it will be known as...

Pearl's Pilfered Pad: Anna descends the staircase and walks through the vampire packed hallway, where the latest tomb refugees are getting haircuts, and refreshment. Some are even sorting clothes. Anna provides a little improptu lesson on how to change TV stations via remote control. Once that's done, she happens upon Frederick (Stephen Martines) feeding from Miss Gibbons' wrist. Gibbons, who is also sporting a nasty wound on her neck, offers Anna a drink, but Anna refuses and recommends that their human hostess with the mostest takes a little rest. Frederick (whom the closed captions misidentify as "Cliff") sneers at Anna. "She's fine." He then turns his thrall on Ms. Gibbons who completely and utterly agrees with him, 'cause... thrall.

Theme Song!

Donovan Domicile: Matt has to call his mother several times before he rouses her hungover ass out of bed. He's clearly the parent here. She's bringing men home and being loud about it and Matt would really like her to have a little class. And possibly a job. He talked to Roberta at the Grill about the open bartender position. Kelly says she'll check it out, but she suspects Roberta will still be "pissed" about the last time Kelly worked there. Clearly, Kelly slept with Roberta's man, yeah? Matt says Roberta is desperate and Kelly mentions that there's back rent due (which the captioning misidentifies as "Thacker and Duke" heh). Matt corrects her. "There's back everything, Mom." Oh you poor Pudding Pop. Just then, there's a knock at the door. When he mentions it's probably Caroline, Mom is all UGH. Matt tells her to take it easy, and because he doesn't yet know he lives in a town infested with vampires, he yells, "Yeah, come in," without even checking to see who is at the door. I think it's time for Elena and Stefan to let all their near and dear know what's going on, don't you? Caroline sweetly says, "Hi, Mrs. Donovan." Kelly gives her the most fake smile she can muster (and she musters it expertly), and then lets that smile drop into a contemptuous sneer, right in front of Matt and Caroline. Matt says, "We're going to be late so let's just get going."

MFHS Corridor: Stefan and Elena exposit about the whole Damon/Katherine situation, but you've been watching and reading, all along, so I don't need to. This scene is important only because Elena says she'd like to get through one day without dealing with vampire mothers and brothers. When Stefan worries she might mean no vampires at all, Elena is quick to make him the exception to her rule. They wander off and kiss, which does not escape Matt's notice. And Matt's notice does not escape Caroline's notice. She tries to distract him by making plans for that evening but he says he's late and has to get to class. He either ignores or completely misses her rather obvious cues that she's waiting to be kissed. Once she's alone, Caroline sighs, shrugs, and plasters a smile on her face before going on her way.

Pearl's Pilfered Pad: Pearl shows Harper how to send a text message and they marvel over technology, but then she (accidentally?) plays Anna's voice mail. It's from Jeremy. Anna runs in from the other room, grabs her phone and shuts it off. Harper asks who that was on the phone. Anna says, "Jeremy Gilbert." Harper smiles. "Is that your boyfriend?" Pearl is not amused. "Of course not." She turns the conversation to her new outfit, which Anna pronounces respectable. Pearl says that's the goal and she sure doesn't miss corsets, but she pronounces it like cor-SETTES which makes me laugh. Anna says she's got the car keys and ATM card from Suzy Sunshine (Ms. Gibbons, I presume, even though imdb.com is currently listing the character's name as Samantha rather than Susan). Frederick wants to know where Pearl and Anna are off to. Pearl explains they have business in town and expects him to look after things. He moans about being a babysitter, now. Pearl reminds him: "If this is going to work, we have to cooperate with one another." Sweetly, Harper offers to watch things for Miss Pearl. Pearl thanks him and she and Anna take off.

MFHS Corridor: Caroline asks Elena and Stefan to go on a double date with her and (the not currently present) Matt. When Elena is afraid it will be awkward, Caroline points out that it's important for them to get past that. Stefan thinks it's a swell idea to spend a nice evening out with friends, it sounds like (good, clean, nearly vampire-free) fun. Once he convinces Elena, Caroline scoots off before they can change their minds.

Mossy Manse: Damon arrives home to find all the lights burning and Pearl and Anna waiting for him. Pearl is surprised there's no living person residing with them. Anna asks how he and Stefan keep out unwelcome vamps. Damon says, "Kill them," and zooms over to Pearl. He grabs her throat but she doesn't even flinch. Instead, she twists Damon's arm 'til he falls to the floor in agony. She then tells him to have a seat and makes him an offer he can't refuse.

Pearl tells him all about her old new coven, with most of the tomb refugees. Damon is surprised to learn that Sheila Bennett's spell failed -- allowing the rest to escape. Pearl knows Damon has an in with the Council and wants a list of all the members and everyone who has been supplied with Vervain. Damon thinks she needs to get over the past. You know, like he has. Eyeroll. Pearl argues that the town took everything from us. "Our land. Our home. It's time we rebuild." She holds out a reunion with Katherine as bait. Damon scoffs, since Katherine has been AWOL and Pearl has been underground for a century and a half. Pearl reminds him that she and Katherine were best friends long before they arrived in Mystic Falls. She knows her patterns and where to find her. Damon says (and probably lies) that he has no desire to see Katherine again. He's not going to be Pearl's minion. Pearl explains that locating Katherine was merely a gesture of kindness. And I guess th

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Vampire Diaries

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