Meanwhile, back at Mossy Manse: Kelly and Damon, who -- as far as they know -- have an entire mansion at their disposal, decide to get hot and heavy in a common area. Damon can't decide if he wants her lips or jugular more, but settles on the former. Eventually, he leans against the wall and hoists her up until she's straddling him. As she throws her head back in delight, Matt and Caroline walk in. Matt stops dead in his tracks. "Mom?!" He says that like she's a real mother. Kelly and her semi-raised skirt slowly slide down Damon Salvatore. "Oh my God, Matt. Oh my God." As she leans down and picks up her purse, Stefan and Elena join the happy party. Matt looks at Caroline as he gestures toward Kelly. "I gotta..." Caroline says, "It's fine." Elena will get Caroline home. Matt returns the Contrivance Coupe keys to Stefan with a pat on the shoulder and an embarrassed, "Thanks, man." Elena and Caroline glare at Damon, who ignores them and takes another drink.
Pearl's Pilfered Pad: Anna sneaks in to find Pearl and a good scolding waiting for her. "Annabelle, don't do this. I can't fight you, too." Anna holds her tongue and possibly holds back her tears. When Pearl says, "What?" Anna apologizes. Pearl hugs her and we leave them.
Stefan wishes he could drive Elena home, but she points out that normal people don't have chaperones and bodyguards and she can't live like that. He makes her promise to call when she gets home safe. Caroline says, "Goodbye, Stefan," as the girls drive off.
Meanwhile, from a distance, Fred and Bethanne watch Mossy Manse.
Inside, Damon tells Stefan to spare him the lecture, but it's not Stefan who spares him, it's Fred and Bethanne. Since there's no human in residence, there's nothing to keep them from crashing through a window. Has anyone been keeping count of broken windows at the Manse, because I'm thinking at this point, the boys should ask their glazier to move in. The four vampires battle. After Stefan manages to stake Bethanne, Fred flees. Once the boys are alone, Stefan says, "I remember them from 1864." Damon wipes his lips and straightens his shoulders. "Yeah. About that..." Commercial.
Donovan Domicile: Matt reads his mother the riot act. His night out with his friends was interrupted by his mother who got wasted at his place of employ and then hooked up with a guy (who, as far as the Donovans know, is) half her age. "I'm the kid, Mom. You're supposed to be responsible for me." Kelly: "I know, Matt." Of course you do, but does it matter, Kelly? Make it matter.