Vampire Diaries
Total Eclipse of The Heart

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 258 USERS: D+
102 Things I Hate About You
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

KATHERINE: I'm not doing it.

NADIA: We have to.

KATHERINE: Why do we -- well, let's boil this down to the important point. Why do I have to stand here and bag on my own story for a recapper who so clearly hates me and said story?

NADIA: Because you're impersonating Elena Gilbert, and Elena would do this -- has done this -- without question.

RECAPPER: Besides, Kiki. While I hate this current storyline, I don't hate you. Generally speaking, I love (to hate) you.

KATHERINE: Fine. Elena had damned well better thank me for this.

RECAPPER: Perhaps she would, if you would, oh, you know, give her back her life.

KATHERINE: Good one.

RECAPPER: Thank you, Kiki, but seriously, will you please do me a favor? While we're covering this chapter, I want you to think about something.

KATHERINE: You're already boring me. Get to the point.

RECAPPER: You're impersonating Elena, so that you can win Stefan's love. If and/or once Stefan figures out you're not Elena -- that you're Katherine impersonating Elena -- is he going to love you?

KATHERINE: He's never going to figure it out. Matty Pants is my phone-a-friend lifeline.

RECAPPER: Okay, let's pretend you're right, about that, which you're not. Let's assume no one, including Stefan, figures out what's going on, here. Are you going to be content with Stefan loving you because he thinks you're Elena? If so, how?

KATHERINE: I did not come here to get my head shrunken. Let's go on with the show, before I change my mind. Previously, on The Vampire Diaries, I was dying, so Nadia, Mia the Traveler, and I arranged for me to set up housekeeping in Elena's young bod. And it was awesome. As proof, I submit one of my first awesome acts: I told Damon to hit the road.

RECAPPER: Well, he and Enzo took you more literally than even you might have expected.

AARON'S CORPSE: You're telling me.

KATHERINE and NADIA: Who's Enzo?

RECAPPER: Now, on The Vampire Diaries Katherine Pierce is enjoying Elena's life more than Elena ever has, and yes, that includes the summer of sex her life, that Elena shared with Damon.

KATHERINE: Dear Diary, I love my life. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I have everything I ever wanted. I'm young, healthy, gorgeous. Everyone loves me. But best of all, I'm a vampire, again. R.I.P. Elena. Thanks for your perfect life. In return, I've corrected the worse decision you ever made: falling in love with Damon. See, I'm even erasing the pictures off your PRODUCT PLACEMENT cell phone.

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Vampire Diaries




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