Vampire Diaries
True Lies

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 83 USERS: A-
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Lie To Me
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

This week in Mystic Falls (and related locations) no one is telling anyone else the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Hell, they're not even admitting the truth to themselves. "True Lies" is a fun episode to watch, but when you stop and think about it, not a lot happens. It's sort of like one of those episodes of Lost where everyone just goes back and forth across the island, in order to get themselves into position. When you're watching, it's fun; when you're recapping it, it starts to fall apart. I hate that. I want to give you something fun to read, but the very act of recapping this fills me with about as much whimsy as the prospect of a root canal. That's fine. I'm getting paid for this. I'm just trying to find a way to not share the root canal-ness of it all with you.

It's the little things, that get me, you know? While covering last week's premiere, I noted that Elena said Whitmore College is a few hours away from Mystic Falls. Well, I didn't just note it -- I complained about it. Because I know -- and surely the writers know -- that the characters are going to be flitting between Whitmore and Mystic Falls, just as Bonnie and Shane did last season. And it's never going to feel like it only takes them a few hours to do so. Scratch that. It's only going to feel like it's a few hours away when the plot necessitates. Oh doc, I think I need more Novocain. Just a little, please, so I don't leave my readers feeling as numb as I'd like to be. Thanks.

After the recap montage, we open on Bonnie, who is recapping a little bit more. She and Jeremy are sitting before the fire in Mossy Manse. Bonnie blahs about watching Silas-as-Stefan (i.e. Stylus) compelling the townsfolk into obedience, and then slitting her Interim Dad's throat. Now she whines that Jeremy can't even give her a hug, because she's dead, just like her dad, except she won't get to see him on the other side, because he wasn't supernatural. Next she tells the Germ that Silas has compelled the town to find Elena Gilbert's doppelgänger, Katherine Pierce. "Whatever he wants with Katherine, we can't let him have it." The Exposition Fairy says, "I didn't notice my name in the credits, but I must have blinked, since I'm so prominently featured." Oh yeah… you're going to be a big star, EF. Now rinse and spit.

Roadside. Day. Katherine stumbles out of the woods coughing her lungs out. She flags down a passing car. The woman is nice enough to stop, but when she says Kiki looks just like Elena, Katherine growls, "Actually, I'm much prettier." Heh. The Good Samaritan addresses Katherine by name, douses her with pepper spray (or similar) and gets out her phone to call Stylus. Katherine is no longer a vampire, but she's not the sort of human who is above fighting dirty. She knocks the woman down, grabs her cell phone and then knocks her out. Somewhere in there, she throws the cell phone onto the road. She and Stefan really are a love match. You know how vampires in this universe supposedly feel everything more deeply than humans? Well, that's a damned lie, because punching hurts humans way more, even when the human is the puncher. As Katherine gasps at the pain in her fist, Matt comes out of the woods pointing a rifle and says, "Hurts, doesn't it?" When Katherine grumbles, Matt adds, "Not as much as this will."

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Vampire Diaries

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