Vampire Diaries

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Your Diabolical Plan: The Sequel

Gilbert Gables: The ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASS lies open on Elena's bed, because she's not at all afraid that her brother Jeremy, from whom it was stolen, will see it and incorrectly assume she was the thief. Oh, no. She's too busy primping for the dance to think. You can tell, because she goes into the bathroom to dry her already dry hair -- her already dry hair which is already arranged over a Bumpit -- her already dry hair which is already arranged over a Bumpit and which is already being held back with a headband. Yeah, she's blow-drying it. But if she didn't do things in this order, she'd hear the ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASS whirling and whirring, way too soon. So it whirls and whirrs while the blow dryer blows dry her already dry hair until it looks COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY THE SAME as it did before. She then opens her closet, and that sound somehow also masks the whirling and whirring. And finally, after she grabs a pink scarf, she hears the damned thing. She grabs it and her phone and dials Stefan, but does she hide in the bathroom, or some other sensible place? No, she wanders the house looking for the vampire. Meanwhile, at Mossy Manse, Damon hears a phone ringing and answers it: "Stefan's phone." Hee. I love that Evil Pixie Monster, despite myself. It seems Stefan left his phone behind, so Damon and Elena decide that the compass must be acting up because Stefan has arrived at Gilbert Gables. The vampire who is camped out on the FRIGGING CEILING probably disagrees. As soon as Elena hangs up, the vampire swoops down, grabs her, and lunges for her neck. Elena screams. Stefan materializes in the room, grabs the vamp off of her. They struggle for but a moment, and then the vamp zooms out of the house. Stefan holds Elena tightly as she tries to climb back into her own skin. Nina Dobrev, by the way, rocks the freaked-out vibe in this scene. I want to hug her too, and set aside some of this week's batch of pudding I've made for Matt, and give it to Elena. Stefan can feed it to her, though. It's not Lesbian Friendship Pudding, not that there's anything wrong with that -- other than the name, that is. Commercial.

After the break, Damon arrives and they explain that Humpty Dumpty gained access to Gilbert Gables thanks to his clever Pizza Boy disguise. Since there were no reports of an actual pizza delivery man being mauled by a "wild animal" though, I'd like to think that Humpty Dumpty actually has to work delivering pizzas -- because how much would that suck? Oh, you can be an immortal bloodsucker, but you've got to spend the rest of your existence delivering food to cranky, hungry people who are frequently drunk. Enjoy! Anyhow, Stefan very pointedly reminds Damon that Humpty Dumpty has been invited in, and then they decide to use Elena as bait. Stefan and Damon will both accompany her to the '50s dance and try to smoke him out. Elena says that with the two of them, she'll be safe, and my soul dies a little as I yearn for Buffy, who could go to the dance on her own, thank you very much, even if she had to kill off some hellhounds on her way.

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Vampire Diaries

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