Mossy Manse. There's a musical montage of the girls dancing drunkenly and shimmying for the camera. I will not dignify it with my attention.
Next Elena, Caroline and Bonnie's drunken antics are shown to us again. Is this a phone product placement? Is that why we just turned the camera in to the male gaze, Show? Ugh. Anyhow, the girls are in Damon's bathroom. Elena is sitting (clothed) in the tub (which is dry). After seeing video of herself zooping across the parlor, she says she looks like "Superman." Really, Writers? You couldn't even say, Wonder Woman, or even a more generic Super Hero(ine)? Elena praises the beauty of Damon's covet-worthy bathroom. I can't fault her for that. She's got eyes.
Anyhow, the conversation devolves into Caroline deeming Damon's past lovers "skanks." Elena takes offense. Caroline apologizes. Elena says, "Rip away, it's only Damon. Right?" Caroline: "Well, say what you want about Ripper Stefan. At least he wasn't a man slut." Bonnie gives Caroline the shut-up face, like you do. Elena reminds Caroline that she jumped into bed with Damon the moment she met him. When Caroline fails to point out that he vamped out on her that night and attacked her, and instead says something about not knowing he was a sociopathic narcissist. I quit. I frigging quit. No daughter (and no, Tubey) I don't mean I quit my job. I just mean I quit caring about this episode. Elena purrs that Damon's always been there when she needed him. Caroline snarks that he's just trying to get her to sleep with him. Elena says she did. She knows Bonnie and Caroline have issues with him, but she's happy and wanted to spend the night with her best friends so she could share her joy.
SNAKE WATCH: This is nauseating in so many ways, daughter. What's up with Caroline calling Damon's past partners skanks? She, of all people, knows there's usually a good deal of compulsion involved in Damon's non-Elena entanglements. Call him out for that. Not to mention, Caroline was once (before the compulsion) a woman who agreed to go to bed with Damon. And the worst thing Caroline can say about Damon is that he's a man slut? Really? I already went into how he attacked, compelled and abused her, so I'm not repeating it. But really, man slut is all she has to say? That's so disappointing. It's especially disappointing, because she acknowledges STEFAN RIPS PEOPLE UP AND PUTS THEM BACK TOGETHER, but in her eyes being a "man slut" is worse than that. You know, with just a few facts (enough of which are known to all three women in this scene, even if they're short on details), Caroline could have stated a solid case. Damon is a murderer. He's largely unrepentant about it. He thinks humans are lesser beings. He compels women to be his sex slaves and feed bags. He flies off the handle -- like he did the time he killed Elena's brother and all the times he killed Ric! Yes, but "man slut" is her critique. I thought Caroline stopped being vapid and petty when she
finished puberty became a vampire. Bah.