Oh and now Alaric has caught the DIARY-Ahhh. He and his conspicuous ring journal about his encounter with an actual vampire. "I found one, after years of research and study. There it was, right in front of me. I was terrified. As I stared it in the eyes, I drove a stake through its heart. I was right about Mystic Falls; there is evil here. I can sense it -- feel it. It's everywhere." Alaric's gaze lingers on the picture of his allegedly dead wife. He flashes back to waking her with an early morning kiss. She hates morning people, so she's probably going to LOVE whatever vampire does her in, AMIRITE? They exchange I-love-yous and I wonder when Mia Kirshner started to look like the three-way love child of Katie Holmes, Eliza Dushku and Shiri Appleby (calm down, boys).
As Damon drives an unconscious Elena down a rural road, Zach Roerig and Michael Trevino's names appear in the credits, but... ***SPOILERS***...it's a dirty, dirty lie. Those pretty boys are not in this episode, and boo hiss for that. Anyhow, Elena comes to, and asks where they are. When Damon says they're in Georgia, Elena says they can't be. She's wrong. After Damon reassures her that he checked her all over for broken bones (oh, you know he copped a feel somewhere in there), Elena wants to talk about the accident. "I hit a man." Since Humpty Dumpty put himself together again, Damon, like Elena, wishes he knew who it was. Anyhow, Elena makes Damon pull over in order to give Stefan an opportunity to call her while she's outside with the Georgia sun beating down on her shiny shiny hair. Before Stefan picks up on his cue though, Elena moans and groans her way out of the car and Damon Stealth-Salvatores to her side, because he's nothing if not charming (in that serial killer way). She rants that she can't go to Georgia, because she wrecked her car and people will be worried about her, but Damon reminds her she's already in Georgia, "without your magical necklace, I might add. I could very easily make you... agreeable." When Elena asks him what he's trying to prove, her phone finally rings. Damon reveals he has it, and answers it like you knew the pixie-monster-bastard would. "Elena's phone." When Stefan wants to talk to Elena, she shakes Damon off, so he takes the opportunity to rub this in his brother's face. Stefan gets all puffed up about how Damon better not lay a hand on her. Stefan, relax dude. Her name's in the credits. Even if Damon kills her, it's only going to be a prelude to siring her. Back at Mossy Manse, Stefan throws his phone on the floor and picks up her Vervain necklace to drive home the point that Damon could enthrall her, which would be cool if Damon hadn't just literally driven home that very same point.