Damon punctuates his point by returning Stefan's letter opener to him -- right in the gut. Stefan groans and falls to his knees in front of Damon, setting off the next round of carpal tunnel amongst the Salcest slashers. Damon ignores his brother's struggles to remove the letter opener from his person, and looks down at his own damaged shirt. "This is John Varvatos, dude. Dick move." Heh. Only lesser TV vampires would be caught undead in Ed Hardy. Stefan pulls the blade from his belly just as the thorn in his side saunters out of the room. Next, we're treated to a shot of Paul Wesley's six-pack abs. I am not one to jump to conclusions, so I have to ponder whether or not that was gratuitous skin, or necessary to drill home the MYTHOLOGY MOMENT -- these vamps heal almost instantly. I'm afraid I'm going to have to rewind and watch it again. Huh. I'm still uncertain. Again... Two hours later... Yeah, it's inconclusive. I hope the show includes a shot like that every episode until I can make up my mind. Who's with me? Title card!.

Mossy Manse: Stefan watches as reporter Logan Fell interviews Mystic Falls' (blonde, female) sheriff about the "mountain lion" who had been wreaking havoc on the town. It's dead now, poor maligned kitty. Stefan tells his diary that the real animal is still out there. "How do I stop a monster without becoming one myself?" Xander says, "You are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them." We cut to...

Gilbert Gables: Elena and Aunt Jenna have the same newscast on, but while Jenna is fixated on the visual, she's providing her own audio. "Scum ball. Scum bucket." Seems "Logan 'Scum' Fell," is the reason Aunt Jenna moved away from town in the first place. Elena laughs at her aunt and pronounces Scum "cute," before returning to the table where she's polishing various family heirlooms. The late Mama Gilbert had promised use of these items to Mrs. Lockwood ('Roid Rage's mother) and the Founders Council for their Heritage Project. Jeremy picks up a pocket watch and wonders aloud how much the stuff would be worth on e-Bay. Elena snatches it back, scolds the Germ, and assures him she's not giving the trinkets away; they'll just be on loan.