Salvatore Mansion Ruins; 2009: Stefan explains vampyric mind compulsion to Elena, and that Katherine compelled him and Damon to keep the secret from each other. He then retrieves Damon's ring from the rubble. Elena tells him not to give the ring back to his brother, but Stefan reveals that Damon is holding the only thing that matters to him, over Stefan's head -- that thing being Elena's safety. Elena lets this sink in as we jump to...

Mayoral Mansion: As She's-the-Sheriff updates the Mayor on the Bananas Foster Gang situation at the Sizzler, he retrieves an object from a floor safe. He asks after Vicki and when the Sheriff tells him Vicki is not among the deceased, he wants to know where she is. The Sheriff wishes only wishes she knew. Just then, Scum walks in, apologizing for being late. He turns the Gilbert watch over to the Mayor, who removes the lens and pops out the clock works. He then opens up an old box and removes what looks like a compass. He pops it into the watch housing, and presto change-o, it's an ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASS. No, I don't know why they needed the pocket watch since they already had the compass. Apparently, the housing is an integral part of ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASSES. Didn't y'all hear it click into place when the mayor jiggered them together? Jazz hands. Jazz hands. The Mayor hands it to Scum, pronouncing it "ready." Scum raises his eyebrows. "That's it?" The Mayor says, "Yeah, that's it." So say we all.

Mossy Manse: In case you forgot you were watching a CW show, Vicki, still wearing her tank and cheeky undies, dances in the sunshine streaming in from the window. It's a twirly dance, but an angry one, just the same. Meanwhile, Damon swills booze straight from the bottle. His shirt is open. Yeah, that seems awkward standing there all by itself, but I try to report the important facts. Vicki proclaims that she's over Tyler. She always knew she was just a piece of ass to him, but she was hoping that if he got to know her better, he'd see something more. She twirls and fondles her hair. "Now Jeremy, on the other hand?" She drops to the Oriental rug. "That's all he's ever seen in me in something more And I like that." She laughs and rolls over. Damon picks up on the fact that Germ is Elena's brother. She rises and gallops over to Damon as she explains that Elena and Matthew Pudding Pop Donovan, used to date. She also brags/explains that Jeremy has been crushing on her (Vicki) forever. She stops her manic dance for a minute. "Hey, why don't you have a girlfriend? You're like... totally cool and so HOT!" Damon says, "I know." He has no desire to be in love again. It's painful, pointless and overrated. When Vicki starts to argue, Damon silences her and says, "Let's daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance." And oh my. I am at a loss to describe this. Vicki dances alone. Damon swoops up to the next floor and dances, with his shirt open. There's a lot of pelvic action here, and the abs and pecs are working overtime. How can I be panting, cringing, and laughing from the same few seconds? You be the judge. Soon, they're together again. I'm starting a new paragraph to let you catch your breath.