Vanuatu – Islands Of Fire Reunion

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Welcome To The Ami/Julie/Leann Show

So Chris won, remember? Sure you do. You laughed! You wept! You wrote to your relatives!

We open the Reunion portion of tonight's Vanuatupalooza by gazing fondly upon the now-famous Chris interview in which he explains that by allowing women to see your warm and vulnerable side, you can fuck them over much more efficiently. Uh, Chris? You really don't need to spread that around, because as a principle, it causes enough trouble for some of us already.

Back on stage, Jeff and jersey (someone has apparently absconded with Jeff's usual collection of pseudo-casual safari-barbecue-company-picnic-wear) explain that Chris's ability to read chicks is "just one of the reasons" he won the money. Other reasons, of course, include bitterness, stupidity, artificial joints, and the unbreakable bonds of NASCAR. Jeff asks Chris to recall his "rough start" in the first episode, when he found himself unable to navigate the balance beam and almost exited first. Asked whether there was a turning point for him in the game, Chris tells a story about Julie coming to talk to him after she jumped alliances back from Lopevi to the women after the merge, and asking him if he hated her. He assured her that he didn't hate her, but was just disappointed. Jeff -- beginning a bizarre effort that will last throughout the episode to cast Chris as a worthless piece of shit -- says in an accusatory fashion, "You played the disappointment card." Huh? Chris is like, "Uh, I guess," and then explains that he was glad he kept his relationship with Julie intact, because ultimately, Julie was the person who took up for him with the Ami alliance. Jeff tells Chris that he was very good at telling people what they wanted to hear. "You played this big-brother, 'I'm just really disappointed,'" Jeff lectures, based on apparently very little evidence. I mean, didn't Chris have reason to be disappointed when Julie went with the women instead of with Lopevi? Isn't "disappointed" pretty much the precisely correct reaction? Chris counters that his thinking was that Chad had been extremely upset with Julie after she bolted the Lopevi alliance, and that Sarge reacted the same way, so basically, Chris just felt like acting angry wasn't productive, no matter how angry he actually was. "I saw an opening to keep my mouth shut," he says. Wow. Yeah, Jeff, he's a real bastard.

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