The Lamb boys are all off on separate plotlines this week, so I like to think they all hooked up back at the ranch afterwards to share tales of their exploits.
Let's start with Dixon: He's hanging out at a hotel pool ogling asses underwater (seriously) and is fortunately around to save a woman from drowning. She turns out to be a famous member of a family act called the Teentastics, and he's about to be on his merry way when it turns out she was poisoned. The suspects range from a stalker comedian to her father (played by Melrose Place Matt) -- upset that his outwardly wholesome daughter is drinking and "smoking reefer" and other such things that might mar the family image -- but it turns out that she poisoned herself accidentally, trying to get to her older sister, who is refusing to let go of the prime spot in the Teentastics despite being a twenty-year-old geezer. So Dixon winds up having to arrest her, but not, fortunately for him, before sleeping with her first.
Katherine' source of info in Laura has dried up with Laura's disappearance, so she squeezes Mr. Jones (and good GOD, how is it that it has taken until now for me to realize he's Dewey from Justified?) for info on Savino. He agrees in exchange for dental work -- his teeth having been loosened in prison fights -- and then he uses a wire from his new braces to pick the lock on his handcuffs, shoot a couple of guards and escape. This seems to warrant just Ralph and Katherine tracking him, which they eventually do, although he escapes again, but not before endangering the life of a boy in the backseat of a car he steals. Getting shot at by Jones seems to have Katherine ready to throw herself even more at Ralph.
Jack is tricked into a trap by Rizzo, who plans to kill him for banging Mia after torturing him to find out what info Mia has been passing to the feds. Since she hasn't been doing that, Jack can't help him, but he does alibi Mia on a couple of the times in the affidavit, since he was naturally with her at the time. Rizzo checks out his alibi, and realizes Savino set him up. Not that he's not still going to kill Jack, who gets free with the help of Rizzo's accomplice and winds up shooting Rizzo in the stomach. Given that we've established Rizzo now knows Savino set him up, I don't believe he's dead.
As for Savino, he heads out on a road trip with Cota and Red, mainly because he's upset at Laura apparently cutting him off from their kids. They're picking up a shipment of hot newfangled electronic slot machines, and the trip goes horribly wrong, what with the running out of the gas, the run-in with the hilarious motorcycle toughs and meeting a girl who reminds Savino of his own daughters. In the end, the slot machines -- being French -- are useless, but on their way back to Vegas, they rather implausibly run across the hitch-hiking Mr. Jones, beat the shit out of him, and force him to work for them now. So the trip wasn't a total writeoff (although some of the airing of grievances that happened when the three of them thought they were going to die might cause some trouble down the road).
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. You're telling me three guys in Vegas went on a road trip and didn't bring any beer?
Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Dixon is "playing hooky" from work -- you know, the job that he shows up to hours late every morning because he's so tired from banging housewives -- at a pool where he jumps in and ogles underwater asses. You know, the kind of behavior that he would normally arrest people for. The good news is he's on hand to help rescue a drowning girl, who is floating face down in the water.
Katherine -- concerned since Laura has disappeared -- is meeting with Mr. Jones (much to the consternation of Ralph, who is a little look-here-little-lady over Katherine doing her job) to gather information on Savino, in exchange for life in prison (instead of the gas chamber). Being as eccentric -- excessively formal, quoting C.S. Lewis -- as ever, Jones agrees, in exchange for dental work on his teeth, damaged in prison fights. "Some inmates mistook me for prey," he explains. The scene is a little tense, with Jones' request for Katherine to come closer and then shake her hand. It wasn't a given he wouldn't attack her.
Meanwhile, Jack has just finished putting a restaurant out of business by taking advantage of a restaurant's all-you-can-eat brunch offer, but it's because, he lets us all know, that he worked up an appetite banging Mia all morning. And she has to fight him off from spending more time at that because she's got a job interview at the Stardust.
Outside the Savoy, Vinnie's on the phone arguing with his kids' cello teacher because he wants to speak to his kids, which he hasn't done in a week. While he's on hold -- that's one brave cello teacher -- Cota and Red show up to get the news they're headed into the middle of the desert to pick up a trailer of hot newfangled electronic slot machines. Cota's plea to get some sun cream to prevent lobsterface is ignored, and after Savino realizes Laura's given instructions for the cello teacher to not let the kids talk to their father, he decides to accompany Cota and Red on the road trip. Spotting Jack across the street, he uses the opportunity to warn him -- masking it by first yelling at him for not solving more crimes of vandalism in the Savoy parking lot -- that someone's gunning for him. Jack gets the picture, but not why Savino would warn him. "Dead cops are bad for business," explains Savino.
Dixon, who I guess has nothing better to do (like show up for work) visits the hospital room of the girl he saved from drowning and introduces himself to XXXXX Binder, her father, who introduces the rest of his impossibly good-looking family, and Dixon realizes he's in the presence of family act The Teentastics. He asks Mr. Binder to let him know how Fay is doing, but before he can go, the doctor strolls in and announces that drowning may have saved Fay's life, since the water intake diluted the toxins in her system. "It is my belief your daughter was intentionally poisoned," he says.
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