Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 1149 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Rinse And Spit. Repeat. Oh, Seriously, Repeat.

Keith opens his hotel room door and beckons Cheyenne, a busty blonde, inside. She tells him to tell her exactly what he wants: "That one thing you can never get the little woman to do." I can only imagine the last person who referred to Alicia as the "little woman" had his tongue julienned and served to him. Keith pulls Cheyenne onto the bed and says he'd like to talk about Abel Koontz. From the look on her face, I don't even want to know what the "one thing" Koontz liked to have her do was. Keith calls her "Miss Collins," introduces himself, and says he's been looking for her for a year. He tells her he knows she was with Koontz at the supposed time of Lilly's murder, and that there's a phone record to prove it. This is a little confusing -- were they having phone sex, or did he call her and have her join him? Cheyenne points out that Koontz confessed, "for whatever reason," and that if she comes forward, she'll be "the most famous working girl on the planet. I have a five-year-old son who thinks I'm a stewardess." Well, I hope he doesn't see the video for Britney Spears's "Toxic," because I think that would put ideas in his head. Keith says that a girl was murdered: "Don't you think the person who killed her should be the one in jail?" Geez, you make it sound so reasonable, Keith. Also, if she's the entertainment lawyer, that's another lie Keith has been telling Veronica for quite some time. Although at least the first part of the job title applies.

Logan and Veronica approach the Echolls door as Logan notes that Haaron is going to make them eat by candlelight. So I guess Haaron invited Logan to bring Veronica over for dinner. Logan and Veronica start making out, and sort of fall in the door together. The lights go on, and Haaron yells, "Surprise!" As all the 09ers are standing agape, I'd have to channel Oz from Buffy and say, "That pretty much sums it up." The Beav gives an awesome stage-whispered "Wow." Hee. He's too good to be a Casablancas. Also, Haaron looks so pleased with himself. Hee, again. It's fitting for the character that his attempts to be good end even worse than his attempts to be bad. Veronica sees Duncan, who looks deflated. Okay, last commercial break! How's the stomach lining holding up?

Veronica Mars

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