Veronica Mars
A Trip To The Dentist

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 18 USERS: A+
Rinse And Spit. Repeat. Oh, Seriously, Repeat.

...and she's looking to unload it now, as she stalks in to see Sean. She totally tosses some guy who's talking to Sean out of the way. Seems harsh, but the case could certainly be made that she's doing him a favor. Veronica tells Sean that she and Shelley were thinking of getting together for "a little girl-on-girl," and asks if he'd like to join. Sean looks about like my dog did when I introduced her to Bitter Apple. He tries to squirm away, but Veronica threatens to tell the sheriff's department on him for having GHB. Sean tells Veronica that he didn't participate in giving her shots -- that was all Dick. In flashback, we see Dick carrying Veronica into the guest bedroom, humming a wedding march. It says something about Dick that out of all the reasons a union between them would be horrifyingly objectionable, the fact that her name would be "Veronica Casablancas" isn't even in the top ten. Dick tosses Veronica onto the bed and makes felonious comments as Sean and The Beav stand by and look uncomfortable. It becomes clear that Dick is trying to get The Beav to take advantage of Veronica, and tosses him condoms for said purpose, with the lovely comment "Make sure you suit up. You don't know where she's been." Well, it's nice to know that he's as good a brother as he is a person. Or a hair stylist. Dick and Sean bail.

Back in the present, Sean tells Veronica that her issues are with Dick and the Beav, who were horrible to her. Veronica: "Well, I'm just sorry you had to witness it. That must have been awful for you." Well, actually, he didn't seem too put out by...oh. Sarcasm.

We see Dick's ugly surfboard, and then pan up to see that Veronica's left front tire is on it, and her engine is running. Hee. This is one child that's going to be left behind, and not too soon either. Dick appears and panickedly tells her she's nuts. Veronica: "Insulting me right now seems like a good plan how?" It would be a good plan if he looked hot. Because then it would be Opposite Day. Veronica asks Dick if he gave her GHB at the party. He denies it, swearing on his life. Veronica: "See, when you say that, it makes me hope you're lying." Good recapping job there, Veronica. In fact, I'd offer to switch places with you, but I've seen the rest of the episode. Veronica accuses Dick of taking her into the guest bedroom "for Beaver," but Dick says he merely found them in there. We see a brief flashback in which Dick walks by the bedroom and sees Veronica kittenishly hitting on Beaver. Veronica doesn't buy it, but Dick is all, "Don't go blaming me because you got all wasted and slutty." Boy, doesn't a line like that just make you weep for the children? Well, you may not be, but Dick sure is, as Veronica reduces his board to smithereens. Ha. Next time, get a better-looking progeny. It goes without saying that adoption's your best bet.

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Veronica Mars




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