Veronica Mars
A Trip To The Dentist

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 11 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Rinse And Spit. Repeat. Oh, Seriously, Repeat.

Veronica catches The Beav at his locker and informs him that the dream she had about being in a room with him was reality: "Care to share some details, lover?" The Beav, discomfited, says that nothing happened. He was supposed to hook up with this "easy" freshman girl, but she left early with Logan. Veronica flinches a bit at that revelation, but tells him to go on. The Beav tells her that Dick brought the two of them into the room. In flashback, Dick and Sean look like themselves -- namely sociopathic assholes -- and The Beav tells them he can take it from there. Here, though, it's Sean with the "suit up" comment, which seems more him, although honestly it's like trying to distinguish between different types of slime. You can do it, but do you really want to look that closely? Anyway, in this flashback, The Beav asks Veronica if she's okay, and then runs out and hurls onto Carrie's (from "Mars vs. Mars") shoes. And he wondered why he didn't get any action.

In the present, the Beav reiterates that nothing happened, and he swears on his life (it runs in the Casablancas family) that the last time he saw Veronica, she was passed out on the bed. Veronica takes a deep breath, obviously believing him, but punches him in the shoulder with a "Thanks for leaving me there." The Beav looks upset, as you do when memories of near-rape and vomiting come swirling up in your throat.

Veronica's brought her ritualistic cleaning to Mars Investigations as VMVO says something unnecessary. In keeping with the admission that the network is responsible for some of the more "special" voice-overs, I'm going to call them "NVMVO." Keith walks in to find Veronica in a cleaning fit. I wish she'd buy a Roomba, if only to see how it would fare against Backup 2.0. Veronica hands Keith an envelope and says that the package he's been waiting for has arrived in Vegas. Keith explains that it has to do with the entertainment lawyer he's been tracking for the last year, which is the case Veronica cited when she gave the information to Duncan on how to disappear. He tells her he has to leave immediately, and suggests that maybe she should stay with a friend. Veronica tells him she'll be safe at home. Keith looks upset. Throw up, Keith! Everyone's doing it!

Chez Echolls. Logan enters to find Haaron cooking crab cakes for them. Logan says he'll enjoy them as his throat closes up and he shuffles off this mortal coil. You guys, I'm beginning to think Logan's a bit of a drama queen. That doesn't usually go hand-in-hand with "obligatory psychotic jackass." Yes, yes, opera singers. Anyway, the belabored point is that Logan's allergic to shellfish. Haaron hits his head all "Aw, shucks," although whether he's upset at his faulty memory or at the foiling of his plan is open to interpretation. Logan lights into his dad, causing Haaron to claim that he knows plenty about Logan. I'm not sure that being aware of the exact sound leather makes against your son's skin is something for the annals of good parenting, but I don't have kids. Logan asks Haaron when Logan's birthday is. Haaron guesses February, and Logan snarks that he got a vowel right. Haaron grabs Logan and starts to lose his temper, but visibly restrains himself, and says that he's trying, and that he's committed to the family. And "committed" is certainly a word that this family could use more of. Logan says his time is limited, because on his eighteenth birthday, "whenever that is" (hee), his inheritance from Lynn comes through, and he's out of there on Vladimir. Er, "like Vladimir." Yeah.

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Veronica Mars

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