Veronica Mars
Ahoy, Mateys!

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
See What Happens When You Don't Take Backup?

Wow, that was a really good episode! I wonder what...wait, what are the Dandy Warhols doing singing now? What do you mean, I have four acts to go? Didn't you see how much happened already? MY ARM HURTS, GODDAMNIT!

Sigh. Okay. Stereophonics's "Dakota" kicks up as Liam asks again why Veronica's there. Veronica, honey, come up with something, here. I get the feeling this guy likes repeating himself about as much as he likes snitches. Or "sniches," as the case may be. Veronica, in a nice fake-defeated voice, says that she really does want plastic surgery, but that she didn't want to use her own name because it was too embarrassing. Unfortunately, Liam doesn't believe her, and Boyd smilingly starts to grab her. The smile fades, though, when Veronica slips out of his grip and tasers him in the stomach. Damn, girl, the guy just had forty-five "stiches"! (Well, that probably is how he spells it. In case it doesn't come across on the page, he's not the sharpest scalpel in the drawer.) Veronica makes a run for it, but Liam tips over some cases of empty beer bottles onto her, knocking her to the floor. She tries to stun him, but he easily twists the taser out of her hand, and then picks her up and throws her onto a pool table. I hope Kristen Bell's stunt double got some overtime for that, because that shit looked like it hurt. Veronica desperately tries to stop Liam from choking her, to little avail, and he has a henchIrishman bring him a tattoo gun: "What's it gonna be, Veronica? Pink moon? Yellow stars? Green clover it is, then." His indifferent tone is far more menacing than most villains manage. He says he'll stop as soon as he hears anything resembling the truth. That would be a good deal for most people, but given that it's Veronica, I think her face is about to look pretty fucking magically delicious. However, Logan's voice cuts in, saying that he's got 911 on his cell phone, but he doesn't know the address where they are. He mentions into the phone that he's got an ankle locator, and gives the name of the bar: "There's blood everywhere." Heh. Liam laughs that they'll just have to see how much damage they can do before the cops get there, but Logan draws a gun from his waistband and levels it at him, saying, "I've had a very bad year." If this is therapy for a bad year, I can only imagine that a lot of Bush administration members have been seen at the shooting range of late. Liam lets Veronica go, and the two "teens" make their exit. It's worth noting, though, that the girl who identified Veronica surely knows Logan as well, so it wouldn't be unreasonable to think our boy may soon learn that the term "Fighting Irish" isn't just a Notre Dame thing.

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Veronica Mars




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