Veronica Mars
Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 5 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Say It Ain't So, Jo...er, "Terrence"!

Dick comes up to Madison's booth calling her attention to Beaver and Mac, who are sitting one behind the other in a very couply way. Dick gripes that Beaver hasn't learned anything from him: "He's like some neutered eunuch nerd drone."

...Oh, sorry. I just thought you'd need a moment to recover from the revelation that Dick knows what "eunuch" means. I certainly did.

Okay, Madison laughs at Dick's comment, and it's just too bad she doesn't know that she was switched at birth with Mac. Because if she married Dick and Beaver married Mac, the in-law get-togethers would be more than awkward, and greater than Un!Comfortable! I believe that would reach the new level of Un!ward. Anyway, what Dick does not know generally could fill every Wal-Mart in the country, but what he doesn't know specifically is that Beaver and Mac are using her laptop to explore a site called "PremiereEscorts.biz" and giggling about it quite a bit. Beaver points to a name, "Bambi Gasm," and Mac asks, "Of the Boston Gasms?" Beaver smiles, "One would hope." These two could take over the world. Seriously.

Some amount of beer later, Cook is telling Keith that Naima was supposed to be his "final fling" before marriage (when will we find out what happened to Jackie's mom, do you think?), but that the situation turned into Fatal Attraction. She moved to Neptune, got the teaching job, and told his fiancée about the affair, ending the engagement. Damn. It's a good thing for Dick that she died, or she might have exacted some nasty revenge for that "Miss Dumb-Ass" comment; he really might have found out what "eunuch" means. Keith notes that revenge on Naima seems like a compelling motive, and Cook lowers his eyes in agreement. Let's drink a toast to lengthy, expensive trials!

Veronica looks up at the flagpole, gets an idea, and marches over to Weevil. Weevil cautions her that he can't let her frisk him, since Ophelia is at an impressionable age. I have no proof of this, but I'm going to back my judgment and opine that she's seen worse. Veronica asks how Weevil pulled off spindling Mr. X's car, and guesses that it involved some kind of saw. Weevil challenges her to say what's on her mind, but when Veronica points out that Weevil obviously has access to the shop after hours, Weevil tells her that all the guys who take shop have copies of Mr. Dalton's keys. He bails...

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Veronica Mars

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