Veronica Mars
Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 5 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Say It Ain't So, Jo...er, "Terrence"!

We return to Clemmons and Ms. Hauser examining the cabinet. They pop back up, and Ms. Hauser informs Veronica that they're out twelve grand. Veronica, thinking quickly, says that because the box was locked, no one could immediately remove the money from it, so they should set up the metal detectors to prevent anyone's leaving with it. Wow, I'm impressed that Veronica remembered the metal detectors, considering how long it's been since anyone's made mention of them. I'll be even more impressed if she remembers the class warfare that was the supposed reason for their introduction. Ms. Hauser asks what they can do if the thief finds a way to open the box, and Veronica counsels them to lock up the shops and janitor's closet and any other place he or she could get his or her hands on tools. Madison overhears this exchange, and as Clemmons instructs a security guard to carry out Veronica's instructions and also to start searching lockers, Madison says they could save time by starting with Jackie, as she was "lurking around." Jackie: "'Lurking'? You mean standing while black?" Ha! You know, I only hated Jackie in her first episode, and it was more due to shaky acting and breathy line readings than anything else. I kind of enjoyed her punking of Veronica. But if you did hate her and started to be won over by that line, I certainly don't blame you. Madison quotes Jackie's earlier line about ruining everything totally out of context, and Ms. Hauser steps over to Jackie and tells her that plenty of people with notorious parents turn out to be decent human beings: "Don't think you have an excuse." If, however, you have some expensive memorabilia of your dad's, pull up a chair and let's talk. I was surprised, as were many posters, that Clemmons let Ms. Hauser talk quite that bitchily to Jackie, but perhaps now that Duncan's gone we need someone else to stand idly by.

Standing in front of another booth, Logan strikes up a conversation with one of the attendants, a pretty blonde who looks about fifteen, despite the fact that the actress is twenty. And given that, I am shocked to learn she has never appeared on The WB. Logan tries his hand at using a hammer to catapult a fake frog into a bowl of water. Seeing him set the frog up poorly, the girl speculates that he doesn't take physics. Logan: "I have a tattoo of Newton's Second Law right on my heart." It would be a lot more fitting if it were the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Entropy, thy name is Echolls. Logan fails miserably on his first two tries, and then challenges the girl -- whose name we'll learn is Hannah -- to do better. Hannah accepts, but when she swings the hammer down, she appears to catch Logan's finger. She hysterically apologizes, but it turns out that Logan was just faking: "I can't believe you fell for that!" Well, if I were her, I'd be hysterical too, thinking of the lynch mob that would be after me if I hurt a hair on Logan's precious head. (Ooh, bad episode for that expression.) Anyway, Logan tries again, and succeeds this time. He picks a pink bunny, introduces himself to Hannah, and then gives her his prize with a mumbled comment about breaking his heart. He leaves, Hannah and her friends squeal, and many of the posters eye-roll themselves into a nice synchronous orbit.

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Veronica Mars

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