Veronica Mars
An Echolls Family Christmas

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 5 USERS: A+
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Pocket Rockets

We open on a shot of Backup 2.0. Cute! Man, sometimes I really want a dog. Perhaps I'll give Demian a call and ask him to tell me the story of his Thanksgiving again. Although honestly, with the amount of money those tacky queens undoubtedly spent on whatever tired-ass labels they're currently sporting, you'd think they'd take the time to train their pets not to jump all over their clothing and crap all over their shoes. Sometimes I wonder if there's more to being gay than just, you know, sleeping with men. But then I realize I'm being narrow-minded -- it's not a gay thing, it's a general people thing. And people are generally idiots. Ah, there goes that goodwill right out of me. And just in time for Christmas! Speaking of which, Veronica and Keith are trimming their tree. Veronica notes that, as an only child, she knows that all the "scary handmade ornaments" are hers. I don't know about that, Veronica. My impression of Lianne is that she's always been a little off. Perhaps she found time to concoct a couple of said scary ornaments in between popping out all the illegitimate children the forum posters seem to think she's had. Keith tells Veronica to put more Padres ornaments on the tree, prompting Veronica to note that some people think Christmas is about the birth of Christ. I'll spare you a lengthy diatribe about how warped many people's religious beliefs are in this country. Of course, it's because I still have a splitting headache from last night's festivities, and the eye-rolling inextricably linked to said diatribe would be too painful to bear. Veronica asks what Keith wants for Christmas. Keith: "Your love and respect." Aw. ["My dad always says 'peace on earth.' I would like to oblige, but it makes him really hard to shop for." -- Wing Chun] Keith tells Veronica to save her money, and they go back to watching The Year Without A Santa Claus, which is up to the "Heat Miser" song...

...and in a nice segue, we cut to Duncan singing the same song, apparently drunk on Jack Daniel's. He's singing at what looks to be the pool house at Logan's. There's a poker game going on; participating are Duncan, Logan, two guys we've never seen, and...Weevil. Well. I certainly didn't think Weevil and Logan were going to make their romance public quite that quickly. Logan's sucking on a stogie, and Weevil notes, "You look pretty comfortable with that thing in your mouth." I suppose I should be offended at the anti-gay sentiment, but it's kind of difficult to be, given that Logan could out-fey every single backup dancer Madonna has ever employed. Logan comes back with a dumb comment about Weevil's being Cuban, which Logan totally knows Weevil's not. This and later comments by Logan sparked a debate on the forums as to whether Logan is racist. Frankly, I think calling him a racist is waaaaay overstating the case. While his snide remarks are annoying and hopelessly immature, he's trying to get Weevil's goat (and not trying all that hard, I might add), and while I certainly would concede that he's a classist (or a rich snob, if you prefer), I think it's a big jump to conclude that he thinks that non-white people are born inferior. It'd be just as big a jump to conclude from Weevil's remark that he actually thinks Logan enjoys sucking cock. Whether he has other evidence to support that opinion is another matter.

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Veronica Mars

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