Veronica Mars
Betty And Veronica

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Is This Betty Ford We're Talking About?

Office of straight-man vice principals. Clemmons tells Veronica that "Polly," their school mascot, was stolen that morning. I'll just tell you that any plotline involving school-mascot wackiness makes me think of The Brady Bunch, and not in a good way. Veronica thinks that Clemmons believes she did it, but no: Clemmons wants her help: "I want you to find Polly." Veronica looks flummoxed, but it could be that she's just trying not to picture John Cleese yelling "POLLY!" at an "ex-parrot." I know I am. Credits.

Same setting. Clemmons tells Veronica how out-of-control the rivalry between Neptune and "Pan High" is. I don't know. I mean, I appreciate continuing the mythological theme, but a trident-wielding god against a goat with a flute? That's a mismatch on the scale of the two teams currently competing on Survivor. Veronica tries to keep a straight face as Clemmons goes on about the escalation of hostilities, and then Clemmons asks for her help, with the qualification that they can't really afford to hire a professional. Well, considering that the school gets single donations worth what I would think is well into the five figures, either Clemmons is seriously dissing Keith, or Keith needs to up his rates. By a factor of about fifty. Clemmons asks what Veronica would want to take the case. The answer is a personal letter of recommendation, her own parking space, and a different locker. The locker issue is probably related to the fact that her current one is right by Meg's. Clemmons flatly denies the parking space idea, and also Veronica's quick-negotiation-style request to get out of PE. After some amusing haggling, they settle on two excused absences, and Veronica leaves with a possibly insincere promise of confidentiality. Should have coughed up the real estate, dude.

Veronica's new locker, which is right next to Wallace's. Aw. Wallace is eating a cookie when a teammate of his tells him the news about Polly. He's bummed, since Polly was kept in the attendance office where Wallace works. They must have had some great conversations. "Polly want a cracker?" "Wallace want a friend?" He's less bummed about the boxes of snickerdoodles that are mysteriously appearing in his locker, with the message "Go Wallace, we love you, you rock!" Aw. That's just sweet as marshmallow. Veronica admires his gift: "I wish I was a baller!" Hee. Duncan arrives on the scene with Meg in tow and gives Wallace props as Meg asks if Veronica cut her hair. Veronica's eyes go to Duncan and Meg's intertwined hands, and she says she's growing her hair out. Meg chooses that moment to let go of Duncan's hand, which is ironic, considering that comment caused me to turn on my space heater. Meg catches the snap and less enthusiastically says it looks great, and the new happy couple takes off. Veronica's being a little petty here, considering she gave Meg her tacit blessing in the last episode. I mean, if Veronica can take up with Icetwin, Duncan's close friend, what's the problem here? Some other teammates run by, and Wallace tells Veronica that he's going to hang out with them at lunch, but sincerely invites Veronica to join them. Veronica's all, "Cool jock table? Me?" She makes it sound so unlikely, she'd have to find some sort of Bizarro Neptune High for that to happen. And what are the chances of that?

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Veronica Mars

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